Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Once Upon a Time...

When we first got engaged, I wanted to do something "different," partly because I felt that at being post-30, I should be over the frills and chills of a traditional wedding.  Well guess what folks? Not a chance.

After going through countless scenarios and considerations, I found myself at a place that resembled much more the traditional wedding than the I'm-so-over-the-wedding-industry celebration that I ever so presumptuously thought I would have.  And you know what? No crying over spilled milk here.  It's all good.  I'm inclined to say that it'll be great.  Because we chose it to be that way and we're gonna embrace it.

In the meantime, though, let me share with you a few of the possibilities that I had previously conjured and then reluctantly surrendered.

Once upon a time, I thought of having a simple no-frills ceremony at a place with signs like this:

(City Hall)

And having a little moment like this, where I get to treasure something really special while still in the everyday world, with people around me going about their business, but me and Kevin knowing and sharing something so happy that it makes things surreal:

Source (Ananda Lima)

However, this option was not going to fly, for several reasons, and they are called: (1) my mom; and (2) my sister.  They were, to put it very mildly, not into this idea.

Once upon another time, when I was still thinking about keeping the ceremony private and just sharing it with immediate family, I thought of just getting married during the winter holidays in my family's living room:

(yeah I with my parents' living room were this grand!
This is an inn or something, not a regular old living room, but you get the idea)

With this plan, we would have a bigger celebration with friends and relatives later, because I couldn't let go of the idea of celebrating with friends.  However, to coordinate once with our immediate family members for the ceremony and then again for the reception seemed like too much.

Once upon yet another time, I thought of having a small, 20-person ceremony in Central Park, a 5 minute walk from our apartment, like this:


Cute, no?  But again, if we were going to plan a ceremony in New York that involved more than just the two of us, it seemed like a lot to ask family members to not only travel to the small ceremony, but also to a bigger reception as well.

In addition, during our venue search, we found ourselves in California as opposed to NYC, so Central Park was not in the game plan anymore.  I'm glad we even had the choice of having the wedding in either spot (many of our friends live in California), but there's a part of me that feels a little wistful about not having an NYC wedding.

That wistfulness caused me to gasp a little when I saw this picture:

This is in Central Park, and I know EXACTLY where this is.  It's nowhere special or landmarked.  As you see it's just an asphalt road, but I know this road.  It's one of the routes for walking my dog.  Plus I have this irrational fondness for the notion of walking around NYC in my wedding dress (damn you, Mrs. Star, damn you! [shaking fist]...go see her awesome pictures!).

But la, I don't regret the choice we made to get married in California, or that we're having a larger, more formal celebration than we originally envisioned--sometimes you just gotta roll with it and love it, you know?

What kind of iterations did you go through in terms of the size/vision of your wedding?  Feeling wistful about any of them?


  1. You should take pictures in NYC in your dress anyway! Then you can have both :)

    Similarily, I kind of wanted to take all the iconic san francisco shots in our wedding clothes. Maybe after the wedding..but I guess you would lose some of the special feel/vibe..

  2. Nothing should stop a to-be or has-been bride from walking around in her dress, wherever she wants, for however long she wants. I'm pretty sure that's an unwritten bridal dress rule. No one will laugh and point. They will just smile indulgently and walk on by with a slightly lighter step.