Friday, July 9, 2010


I look like I've been mauled.  I tend to bruise pretty easily, but last week it was ridiculous. I woke up on a Monday morning and found these:

I remember where these bruises came from.  It was during a dinner party on our patio (the one where I broke a glass and spilled wine on one of our guests), and I bit it walking back up the stairs to our apartment.  That was embarrassing.

But then I also found these:

And this doozy:

I totally did not remember where those came from.  I asked Kevin whether he had been beating me in the middle of the night. He denied it.  I decided I must have walked into something and was content to think that for a couple of days until this totally embarrassing memory came back to me.  The one where my sister and I were trying to catch the subway and the doors tried to eat me.  NYC subway doors are not nice.  They do not spring back when you get caught.  They just fucking clamp you in a python grip.  And this driver was being particularly aggressive and not surrendering, and literally I was stuck because I could move neither forward nor backwards because I was gripped so tightly. I won't lie, it hurt.  And I won't lie, I was mortified.  I was one of *those* people caught in the train door.

Insult to injury?  Towards the end of my 30-second death struggle with the door, the local train came on the other track, and the driver fucking re-opened the door and let it sit open for about a minute.

When I got off at our stop, I turned around and kicked the train.  I'm pretty sure I stubbed my toe. I'm an idiot.


  1. Oh my gosh! That looks so painful!! I hope they heal soon.

  2. gaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! poooooooooor thing!!!!! I'm going to hunt that subway driver down and clamp HIS body in a door.

  3. I bruise super easily too. I went to a dance class last week where we did a little bit of floor work, and the next day my knees were all black and blue. I suspect it's a vitamin deficiency of some sort, but my husband (the doctor) thinks I'm a hypochondriac.

  4. So YOU were the one holding the train up the other day. Ugh. (haha, jk jk!)

  5. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH you kicked the trainnnn! I would so do that. Eff that stupid train. If you get a few more bruises you will just be one big bruise and then it won't be as noticeable. You're almost there.

  6. Hahahaha! I bruise easily, too...and am prone to such situations. But I'm not awesome enough to respond with say, a kick to a train. I laughed out loud and feel evermore endeared to you!

  7. ahh, rough! next time kick the driver, not the train!