Really Nice Thing #2

One more really nice thing Kevin has said to me recently.

I sent Kevin an email with a link to this fascinating post by Mrs. Avocado regarding cloth diapers. I would love to do cloth diapering for environmental reasons, albeit only if we have an in-unit washer and dryer. 

Source (I mean, how cute is this? who wouldn't want to use this?)

He sends me an email saying "This is too much."

Too much what? Like, too-much-this-is-funny-wow-who-knew-all-these-things? Or, too-much-this-seems-like-a-lot-more-work-than-disposables? What? What?

So I ask him for clarification. He writes back: "This is too overwhelming right now.  You don't need to replace wedding planning immediately with baby planning."

Hmph. It reminded me of a conversation I had with my mom about 5 years ago, when I was single and living in a studio (no pets), where I was telling her about how nice it would be to have a dog.  The conversation moved on, but my mom abruptly interrupted me and said "You know, you can't get a dog just because you're lonely".

The vein of similarity between the two comments that I heard sounded something like this: "You're kind of pathetic and needy, and you're wearing it on your sleeve. It's embarrassing."

Anyway, about the poopy diapers--another email was sent from me to him saying that I'm sure he meant that in the nicest way possible and in the most gentle of tones possible or else he is in big trouble.

Really Nice Thing to Say

Sometimes, Kevin comes out with some regular gems to say to me.

First case in point: After we got married, we were walking the dogs in Central Park and I asked him whether he felt any differently being married.  He said no. I agreed. He paused, grinned an impish smile, put his arm around me, and said "Oh honey, it feels just as not special as it did before." I am strangely proud of him for this comment because I think it is quite clever. I repeat it to everyone I know, like a beaming parent, except that I'm totally denigrating myself in the process.

Second case in point: My sister emails me and Kevin an with a link to a pic of what is possibly the 6th cutest pug ever (after the five already owned by our family members).  

 Source

See, I told you she was cute. Plus she's like Rikki's twin or something.  So I write Kevin about how she would "go so well" with Bunni and Rikki (you know, as if she's an accessory or something). I mean, I wasn't seriously thinking about getting a third pug, but come on now it's hard to resist playfully batting around the idea when something so cute comes up.  His response? "NO MORE PUGS". Nothing else. In all caps. I think I felt my heart cry a little.

Third case in point: I told you that I'm very excited about my new makeup routine. I've never had a makeup routine, so this is A BIG DEAL in my world--I think I look a lot more polished, and it's hecka fun.  However, I did spend a pretty penny for the makeup.  So one morning while I'm applying blush, I ask Kevin, in what was a clear fishing expedition for affirmation, "Honey do you think it's kind of ridiculous of me to do all this?"

My supportive husband comes back at me with a perfunctory snort and a "Yeah, I do. But whatever."*

But it's so I look sexy for me and for our relationship, baby! Heehee.  Whatever, he'd probably rather have me shave my legs once in a while and to stop screaming "Give me money!" in French every time I go into a store.** That could be it.


*Okay okay, Kevin meant that I don't need to worry about makeup and shouldn't feel pressured to wear makeup because I'm cute as it is, sans the $200+ makeup. It's just funny the way it came out.
**If we're walking the dogs, I don't usually bring my wallet. And if we have to stop by Duane Reade or a bodega for some household item, I ask him for $ so I can go inside and make our purchase while he stands outside with the dogs.

This will give you an idea...

...of how much I don't have a life.  When acquaintances or friends I haven't seen in a while ask me how things are going, I usually spew out something stupid (like "oh I still am not sure going to law school 8 years ago was a good idea") or, as is more the case, just tell the truth--"oh, nothing really." Seriously, how boring.BUT a few weeks ago, I had an answer. I was all bouncity-bounce just psychically willing someone to ask me the question.

I. bought. makeup.  Yipee!!!!

And not just stopping by Sephora, looking at the lipsticks for ages, and buying the totally wrong color. I mean the whole "I need a new look please help me" kind of thing. I know, it's sad that this is a big deal in my life.  But it's high time that I start trying to look a little polished, a little more put together. I'm almost 34, but most people mistake me for being 20. Let's face it, I need to snazz things up a bit.  "Looking polished and put together" was something I always figured I could wait to do, but wow hey did I mention I'm almost 34.  Time's a wastin'. 

Back to the makeup purchase.  I know there's very good drugstore makeup, but I need more help than that.  I need to be able not only to try things, but someone to tell me what to do and what would look good because I am that ignorant.

I didn't want to go to a department store because it seemed too loud and hectic, and for some reason I was really looking at this like a trip to the spa.  I knew I was going to be spending a lot of money, that it was a big treat for myself, and it was to make me feel and look good--kind of like a spa treatment! There is a Lancome boutique a few blocks from my apartment and it seemed like the kind of calm atmosphere that would be conducive to me spending mucho mucho money.

Okay let's get to the good stuff, eh?  This is what I purchased.

Dual Finish Powder in Ecru, $35.50

Blush Subtil, $29.50

I actually have a sample of this blush in Miel Glace and another color (can't remember), so I didn't need to buy it.  Look at me talking like I was being thrifty.

L'Absolu Rouge Lipstick in Rouge Seduction, $29

(not the color pictured, and I had to get this at a department store)

*not* the color I purchased--I'm not this bold yet

Color Design Eyeshadow in Chic (a brown neutral), $17

Le Crayon Poudre Eyebrow Pencil in Sable (I think), $24.00

Hypnose Waterproof Mascara in Black, $24.50

Angle Shadow Brush #13 for eyeshadow, $25.50

Precision Cheek Brush #7, $47.50

Seriously, get a load of how expensive that last brush is. I splurged. It's very soft and the perfect size. When I first tried the brush in the store it felt so nice against my skin that I closed my eyes and asked the Lancome lady to give us a moment.

I'm pretty much loving the new routine and telling myself that it makes a HUGE TOTALLY AMAZING DIFFERENCE. You know, but still oh so subtle and natural and shtuff.

If I get my act together I'll show you a before and after picture.  Anyway that's what's been going on in my life...

Whole New World

Wow, I feel like Princess Jasmine...

Source

I'm now just blogging. Not about wedding planning, dresses, invitations, programs, ceremonies, or what have you.  Not blogging for Weddingbee anymore.  Just...me! Me blogging! About anything! What do you think about that?

[pause]

Now that the only person who was actually reading this blog has now decided to tune out, let me just write out loud to myself.  This feels kind of freeing, blogging for oneself, in a more "private" forum. I don't have to worry as much about offending people, having pictures, being short and pithy, blah blah. Just me.

Don't get too excited (wait, who am I talking to? oh, myself), because (1) we all know I'm not that interesting; and (2) I'm not sure how long I can keep this up.  Haha I used the royal "we" because I'm just talking about and to myself.

This feels a little bittersweet because I loved blogging for Weddingbee.  I loved feeding off the energy of the hive, but at the same time I'm craving a little more freedom to be random and not be so conscious about writing on a nationally-read (and internationally!) blog. That probably sounds disingenuous to a certain extent--if I want something more private, why am I blogging? How about a password-protected blog or just a good ol' Microsoft Word document? I guess part of me still wants to blather on to anyone who might listen and create connections, and still get that energy from public blogging.

Yeah okay that's enough for today.

Did you see that I still sourced the picture? I'm so proud of myself.  Some good blogging habits die hard.

A Bee's Life: Pug Edition

Sigh. 

[ahem]

Sigh.

Oh man I'm sad and I haven't even really started this post.


So hive, now that I'm at the end of my Weddingbee journey, maybe you'd like to hear how I got here and what I think of this whole operation? Oh you do? Please read on. Oh you don't? Meh.

How I found Weddingbee:

I was searching for NYC makeup artists long before it was necessary for me to even think of having a trial (like, summer of 2008 for my March 2010 wedding--before we, um, picked a California venue), and I came upon posts by Mrs. Peony and Mrs. Canary.  When I clicked to see the next posts, it was a post from another character. What the...? I was confused and slightly ticked off.

It took a few times circling back to Weddingbee to figure out the site, but once as I did, I was absolutely hooked. I distinctly remember becoming a consistent reader in October 2008, and like many of you, pored over every Bee and the archives to see what I had been missing!

Applying to Weddingbee:
After finding Weddingbee, I kind of thought--hey I can do that!  I had relied extremely heavily on Weddingbee for ideas and planning, and wanted to pay it forward by sharing my experience with other brides.  I know, my altruism astounds me as well. 

So I dutifully blogged every other day, met the 15-post minimum requirement for applying, and submitted my application. And was rejected. I was seriously bummed that my bribe to Mrs. Penguin didn't get me anywhere (you can return that box of bacon to me), but alas it was not meant to be.

I swore off Weddingbee for about 5 whole minutes and went straight back to reading and blogging.  The second time I applied, the bribe worked! Ha! The first shipment of bacon must have gotten lost in the mail.  But besides a bribe, what do I think it takes to be a Bee?

Blogging for the Bee:

Well, take my answer with the big hulking caveat that I was rejected the first time.  But in all seriousness (but only kind of)--let me mention "voice" and "frequency".  Also keep in mind that this is just my experience, and what do I know.

Voice
While thinking about how to improve my blog (oh yeah, it took me like 1 day to decide that I was going to apply again), I kept reading Bees mention developing your own "voice".  I wasn't quite sure (and still am not) what that is, but after being turned down, I took a critical look back at my blog.

In examining my past blog entries, I could see that I had tried to conform to what I thought would be a sweet, informative, happy voice that readers would like, but ended up being generically cheery and bland. I also chronicled every single detail, twist and turn of wedding planning, which I now realize was a bit confusing and probably didn't hold readers' interest. Basically, I could easily spot instances where I was trying too hard, not trying hard enough, or rambling--in other words, where I wasn't being myself or putting my best foot forward.

The biggest thing I did was pare down and hone my posts. I eliminated paragraphs, entire posts, dumb jokes (okay not all of them), boring details, etc. I added a ton of pictures.

My forte is not DIY/crafts, finding lots of photo inspiration, or even sharing tons of research.  Wow, I'm useless.  I was more comfortable blogging when I tried to write as I would speak to a group of friends, and make my wedding details actually sound interesting to them (except that this group of friends would be a captive audience that had to zip their lips).

Frequency

For me, posting 3-4 times per week was not easy. It's a serious commitment and takes planning. During the 3.5 months I had before my wedding, which is on the shorter end of the spectrum for Bees, I had about 100 posts go up on Weddingbee. 

But it's not just the number of posts (because admittedly 100 isn't terribly high)--it's the effort required for me to write the posts.  I have to think of an interesting topic, research, decide how to frame the post, find pictures and/or take them, and edit, edit, edit.

I edit a post at least a dozen times before I put it up, because I have nothing better to do with my life.  I build up a queue of at least 5 posts and edit them like crazy before making them live.  Other Bees can write on the fly and post them immediately--it's whatever works for each person. Point is, at least for me, it was a time-consuming albeit very rewarding experience.

On Being a Bee:

While I talked about the effort and time above, I am so glad to have blogged for Weddingbee.  It's been incredibly fulfilling, and I've enjoyed blogging for Weddingbee more than I can say. I love being part of this community.  You all are truly an amazing bunch, with ideas, support, humor, wisdom--the list is endless.

Nonetheless, I have blogged about as much as I can about my wedding, so I'm going to be, well, you know, whatever it is people do when they stop doing something without really saying goodbye because it sounds so final.

This is a great community, and I thank Penguin, Mrs. and Mr. Bee, BIL Bee, the hostesses, every other person behind the scenes, my fellow blogging Bees, and most of all you readers, who make Weddingbee what it is.

iiiissss thiiissss looooooonngggg eeeeennnnoooougggghhhh???

Haha gotcha! Totally not done yet.

As I mentioned, I try to have pictures in all my posts, so I leave you with these...

Whoa, excited much?

My babies

My honey

When "Thank You" Sounds Kinda Lame

Before I wrap up my posts here, I had to mention the efforts of my sister during wedding planning and the day of.  However, I don't know what I can say about my sister that would begin to describe what she means to me, and her instrumental role in planning my wedding.  

Perhaps you've heard me mention that she made the homemade goodies for our out-of-town bags, baked our wedding cake cookie towers, Gocco'd her heart out on my behalf, that she and her husband took charge of the wedding paper goods, hosted the brunch the morning after the wedding...

...and maybe I didn't mention that she:

• constantly encouraged and supported me
• kept me in check when I started to lose perspective
• opened her home for all wedding-related activities leading to the day of
• along with her husband, took in our two pugs for weeks while we were on our honeymoon
• baked challah, cinnamon rolls, jam and who knows what else for the wedding day breakfast
• made the lavender honey syrup for our cocktails
• cooked dinner for the "meeting of the families" 
• dropped off the out-of-town bags at the hotels
• bought a last-minute replacement card for me to give to Kevin the morning of the wedding
• ensured that everyone had a full glass of bubbly the second they entered the bridal suite
• took photos of every single guest during the welcome event
• helped me get into my dress (no easy task with all those buttons)
• performed leash juggling with the pugs while walking them down the aisle during the ceremony
• made fabric flowers for all five pugs
• had her husband miss part of the cocktail hour so he could return the dogs to the hotel room 
• carried around my emergency kit and kept track of my purse all night
• gave a wonderful, sweet and funny toast
• discreetly asked guests at the reception if they would like to give a toast (which thank goodness they did because boy I would have felt lame)
• and so much more that I can't mention because she's too selfless to let me know all that she did. 

But I definitely can't find the right words to describe how terribly important she is to me and that I, much less my wedding, could not function without her. 

  

3pugmama, I couldn't have done it without you.

Top two pictures are personal photos, bottom two pictures courtesy of CK Hwang/39 East Photography

True to My Name

My posts are coming to an end, but let's face it, there was no way I was going to let you get away without seeing a some of the sizable share that our pugs had in our wedding photos...

Sometimes I wonder if my dad wishes I had been born as a pug instead of a girl

She looks sleepy, but is actually pissed off that it took so long before someone turned the camera on her, where it belongs

Even the pugs' *toy* enjoyed the limelight

Who wouldn't smile while holding a pug?

Oh yeah, they look pleased

My heart is about to burst. Just burst.

Lest you think we're out of our minds, the three pugs on the left belong to my sister and her husband, and the two on the right belong to me and Kevin

When we were choosing a venue, it was essential that the venue accommodate our dogs--if not for the actual ceremony, at least for the lodging.  If a venue did not allow dogs, it was ruthlessly chopped off the list with no regrets.  It warms the cockles of my heart (and I didn't even know my heart had cockles) to look back at these photos and remember the joy and comfort the pugs brought to our wedding day.

This question has been asked many times, but what are you doing, if anything, to include your pets in the wedding?

All photos courtesy of CK Hwang/39 East Photography