Artichoke in Gestation

And here's a look at the process of making our invitations, which went out last month. I know, so fun.  I won't go through the nitty gritty of using a Gocco because you find that in plenty of other places, but here are some highlights.

("Highlights" may be overstating the case, but nevertheless, we shall muddle through.)

We started with our artichoke image. 

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(copyrighted by Bobbi Angell--do not use without permission!)

I wanted to use the artichoke on all three parts of our invitation suite--main invitation, schedule of events, RSVP card--but not the same exact image.  So my friend used Adobe Illustrator to create two alternate images to this main one--one with a close up of the bottom portion of the stems, and one with just the smaller artichoke on the right of the image. 

As you probably don't recall, I purchased Strathmore Natural White 130 lb. cover paper from Limited Papers, and had the company pre-cut my paper into 5 x 5 cards for the invitations and schedules, and 3.5 x 5 cards for the RSVP cards.

Before I could start Gocco'ing my heart out, those suckers needed to get rounded corners. So I took my handy rounded corner punch, and rounded away.

 

Observe the hubris from the mighty corner punch at the bottom of the picture.  Below is a blank, rounded RSVP card:

Now that the paper was prepped, I needed to burn me a mean artichoke on the Gocco screen by flashing really scary bulbs through the screen and image.*  The abridged version (and check out those veins just poppin' outta my arm!):

Then, I inked the screen. This was fun, mostly because it was the least stress-inducing step of using the Gocco.

Then, we went from this:

To this (blank one on top, printed one on bottom--to point out the obvious):

But whoa-ho? Where be the text, yo? (I'm a little tired right now.)  I created the text in Word, using Vera Humana 95 and Day Roman fonts.  We then burnt an image of the text onto a new screen, inked it, worked some more Gocco magic, and voila!

Kinda cool, huh? Admit it, you're really impressed with me. Say it!!

Next up is the full invitation suite. 

*I try to spread this around as much as possible, but if you don't want to use the bulbs and/or cannot find Gocco screens and bulbs, you can still totally use your Gocco--see this great post on Unless Someone Like You about a DIY Gocco screen. 

Things Not To Do

I have a few ideas on things not to do right before your wedding.  I learned these from the aftermath of my "pre-wedding celebration" (i.e. bridal shower/bachelorette party) last week, and the lessons generally fit into the theme of "Safety First". 

Thing Not to Do Right Before Your Wedding #1: Dance on a Stripper Pole

 

Kendra (formerly of Girls Next Door, now apparently has her own place with stripper pole and reality TV show and married to a pro athlete with baby I'm sorry how did that happen jealous much?) taught me all my moves 

Yes, you heard it, I made out with a stripper pole.  Dancing on a stipper pole is hard work, people. I didn't know this, and neither did I consider this in my inebriated state during the festivities. Two things happened the next day which weren't so pleasant, and things that I would not want to happen on the wedding day:

A. I couldn't lift my aching sore arms.  Swinging yourself on a pole, hoisting up your entire body weight, and whatever other antics you want to do take a lot of arm strength. 

B. Bruises. I tend to bruise easily, but regardless, making a running leap and throwing yourself against a pole, holding on tight with your limbs as you swing around again and again lead to things like this:

Sexay!! Uh huh.

Thing Not to Do #2: Feed Your Pugs

The day after the festivities, I was tired. Slow on the uptake/coordination tired.  When I was reaching down to pick up the food bowls to feed my pugs, I whacked the center of my forehead, right above my eyes, against the corner of my dining room table.  

Woe is me.  What do you mean you can't see it.  Okay here.

That says "Epicenter of Concussion" above.  Low-grade concussion while trying to say my vows would probably be doable, but perhaps not so cool.

Lastly, the culprits who apparently will be starving until the wedding:

I'm kidding. Of course I'll feed them.

Maybe. 

The pain was worth it--I had a fabulous time at my pre-wedding festivities which were lovingly planned by my friends.  It involved manis/pedis with a glass of bubbly, potluck dinner, bubbly, surprise guests from California, bubbly, a slideshow which induced an ugly cry face, more bubbly, a human pyramid, and a night of dancing.  Most importantly, it involved lots of love and friendship, for which I am inexpressibly grateful.  What, you want a pic? Here.

I make my mom real proud.

Anybody else have some tips on things to avoid right before the wedding so you can be fit, conscious and happy for the day of?

Ahem, Let Me Revise that Earlier Post

Um, remember when I was talking about how I have practically unilateral decision-making ability in wedding planning, and that Kevin's non-involvement wasn't really a problem?  I was pretty damn proud of ourselves for not bickering, because I was happy to do the work and it wasn't his thing.  I couldn't stop patting myself on the back! Pat pat...

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Well, um, hee hee, so right after I wrote those posts, we made up for the lack of small bickering with one DOOZY of a fight. Ha. In our tiny 500 square foot apartment, this is what it felt like (arguing turns me into a White person, Kevin's hair turns from blond to brown, and he grows facial hair):

 

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What triggered this unpleasant scene?  Well, after I wrote those earlier posts, I started to get anxious, thinking that if Kevin doesn't get a little more involved, then: (1) he wouldn't be excited about the wedding; (2) he would have no idea what was going on the day of, feel lost, and not enjoy himself as much.

To assuage my concerns, I did the calm, reasonable thing and cornered him over a glass of wine one evening, and immediately started pelting him with questions about the order of the ceremony processional.  His eyes started to glaze over, and I think he used the word "obsessed" in describing my attitude towards the wedding.  I lost it. I admit it, I overreacted. I mean, I was a holy terror.

What the heck happened to being satisfied with our "working" relationship?  After an unnecessarily long time of fighting like blind bats (I know, redundant)...

Source (heehee, is this too much? It slightly grosses me out, but also makes me giggle--I mean, just look how FEROCIOUS it's trying to be, with that piggy snout and everything)

Why did I react so emotionally? Eventually, this is what I realized:

(1) I am anxious about him knowing what's going on the day of.

(2) I don't mind that he takes a backseat (like, strapped to the outside of the trunk) when it comes to planning, but I had a latent sadness that he may not be excited about the wedding.  I was totally projecting onto him that he dreaded the wedding. Not a good feeling.

(3) Wedding planning has kept me engaged and occupied in a positive way.  One of the greatest benefits of wedding planning is having become a member of this great Weddingbee community--I feel connected.  This kind of connection has helped keep my mind level when dealing with other stresses in my life--career, jobs, work, salary, etc. (notice a theme here?).  Him describing it as "obsessed" did not go over well.

In tears, I told him my concerns.  He assured me that he is looking forward to the wedding, that all my planning has gotten him excited about it, and that he didn't realize how important wedding planning was to me in terms of my emotional health (psh, shows how much he pays attention). It was all very comforting.

Source (much less disturbing picture of bat, but not as funny, either)

Whew, so did anyone else have disagreements, big or small, that taught you a few things about deeper feelings regarding the wedding and planning?

Of Cabbages and Kings (and Underthings)...

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So the time has come, Miss Pug said,

to talk of many things

Of shoes, and ships,

and sealing wax,

of cabbages (or artichokes) and kings...or UNDERTHINGS!

The process of planning a wedding is akin to falling down the rabbit hole with Alice--a little world filled with twists, turns and surprises that you never knew existed until you became a planning bride.

Disney via here

For example, after you buy a dress, your decisions have only begun.  Over or under bustle? What veil? Sash or no sash? And, while not visible but almost just as important, what to wear under the dress?

What to wear as an undergarment to, you know, control my huge bust? 

[reader pauses, wondering whether s/he is reading the wrong blogger] 

Okay, even without a bust to speak of, what were my options?  In order to research the lazy way, I typed in "bustier" into the weddingbee search box, and found a veritable wealth of threads about this.  Go ahead, try it.

Strapless bra?

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I already have a strapless bra, so it would have been great to go this route. Alas, my dress has a low back and the band for the strapless bra goes straight across the back. No go.

Bra pads sewn into dress?

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They can sew bra pads directly to the inside of your dress.  Little fuss! However, considering the cost of alterations, I wanted to try and find something that I could keep and use beyond the wedding.  Don't ask me what that tube is at the bottom, it was really hard finding a picture of a bra pad.

Bustier?

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Nice idea! Low back, support, and shaping for the torso--sounds good! I bought a Wacoal bustier which was so comfortable and fit very well, but guess what? My dress couldn't zip up when I was wearing it.  Mm hm, can't tell you how *good* that made me feel.

So I could go without anything, but honestly there is a vain part of me that would like to fill out the bustular area of the dress just a *wee* bit better.  So I've been considering the Nu bra.

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(this pic makes me a little uncomfortable, like the bra is staring at you. weird.)

These are essentially silicone bra pads that, through some strange method no doubt devised by the Cheshire Cat, kinda suction on to and stick to your boobs. There is a little "seatbelt" in between the cups that help create lift and cleavage.  Fascinating.  These seem a bit new-fangled to me--would they work? Has anyone tried it? What do you think?

Oh, and in the inevitable event that I'm going to gorge myself on food and wine, I may want to have some kind of control over the belly area.

Spanx me! Spanx me!

Hot, right? Yeah, huh? Won't Kevin be excited to see these under my wedding dress!  (for a more attractive option, check out Miss Guinea Pig's post)

Back to the bras.  I haven't made a final decision, but what do you all think of the Nu Bra? What do you plan to use, or what have you tried? Pros and cons?

RICO* and Alterations

I think the alterations business at the salon from which I purchased my dress is somewhat of...an absolute and total racket (and is probably the case at plenty of other places as well).

 

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(Marlon, I know you were kinda...out there by the end, but I saw you in On the Waterfront, and you were sexy as hell--is that wrong?)

You searched for your dress.  You found it. You're excited.  However many months later, you go in for a fitting. You get all pinned and tucked, look at yourself admiringly from various angles, etc.

  

(just look at me! just look at my ass! it's in there somewhere, that little pancake of a tush)

Woohoo! Happy day! Yes? No. Then they slap down the alterations bill in front of you. Am I right, Miss Trail Mix??

My dress bodice didn't need to be taken in. Yeah, sweet, right? I thought for sure my alterations wouldn't be that expensive since the dress didn't need to be taken in.  

For: (1) hemming; (2) bustle; and (3) adding my beloved halter strap, the salon was going to charge me...$510. Come again? For the hemming alone, it was $275.  That's just for the *front* of the dress, people--the back doesn't get hemmed because it's a *train*. $275?? Bite me.

I hemmed (pun! pun!) and hawed, and went through two consultants in my attempts to negotiate before they called over the owner.  She said I should consider the halter strap as a "restyling", and separate from the hemming and bustle, which fell into the "alterations" category.

Pause.

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(love ya, Joe)

Um, do I look stupid to you? You mean, let me understand this 'cause, ya know maybe it's me, but you think I'm stupid? Is that what I'm here for? To think that a halter strap ain't an "alteration"? That I can't add one plus one and know I'm still payin' $510? So I seem stupid to you, huh? Cuz I can't think of any other reason why you'd try to plow that BS down my throat, lady.

Hardly anybody buys or rejects their dress based on what the selling salon will charge for alterations.  It's just not the focus at the time of buying the dress.  After that, for ease and a sense of security, purchasing brides are somewhat of a captive audience.

But $510? Even the bridal salon staff admitted that I could get the alterations cheaper elsewhere. I know of an alterations shop near my apartment that has a good reputation and specializes in bridal gowns, so that's where I'll be heading.

The salon was very gracious, telling me that if for whatever reason I wanted to, I could absolutely bring the dress back for alterations.  I thanked everyone profusely for their time, and hauled my dress out of there, vowing never to return unless they mentioned something about a dead horse's head in my bed or sleeping with fishes.

  

And there it is, lying like a mummy on top of my dining table (and see the laptop in the pic? I am your slave, hive).

Now I have my dress. And...yeah.

Anyone else experience sticker shock in regard to alterations?

*RICO is an anti-racketeering/organized crime law. As a lawyer, I forget whether things like this are common knowledge. 

One Ring (or Halter) to Rule Them All

If anyone out there does not want to see pics of me in my dress, then scram. 

After having experienced some doubt in the one year that I had to wait since purchasing my dress and laying my eyes on it again, I faced my fears and went to the salon for the fitting.  I checked in with the receptionist, and was led upstairs.  The alterations consultant was waiting for me, and ushered me into a spacious dressing room. The dress was unzipped and taken from its hanger, and I gingerly stepped into it (of course, somewhere in there I got half NAKED--woohoo!!).  The consultant zipped it up.

I looked at myself in the mirror.  There were the features that I had liked in the dress the first time:

• rouched bodice
• asymmetrical waistline
• slight sweetheart neckline
• fit and flare skirt

And I was...well, apparently I was sleepy.

  

I was trying, but my smile was just a little...wan, don't you think? My eyes couldn't even work properly. Yes, those short adorable people in the background are my parents.

I thought, well, this has a lot of features that you like and it's very flattering, and you'll be all glammed up with hair and makeup, so all is good. Buck up, buttercup.

But wait, did we forget one important detail? Why yes, I *did* want a halter strap added, didn't I? The consultant came and pinned a halter strap on me, and that changed things considerably...

  

Do you see the more genuine smile? And my greasy face? I was actually excited. I felt like this was *my* dress. It was a nice feeling.

  

Yesss, my preciousss halter ssstraaaapppp...

 

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A small detail, but oh so powerful for me.  All the features I liked were nice, but the halter really brought everything together, like Sauron establishing his dominion over all Middle Earth creatures with the one ring (let's forget temporarily that he fails).  The halter changed the dress for me, and made me the all-powerful bride, before whom all will fall in terror and obey. *What* a power rush.


Whatever the reason, I am happy with this dress, and that's what matters.

How was your dress doubt resolved?  Did you stay with your original choice, make a modification, and/or find a new dress?

The Worried Pug

Time can do funny things--makes you forget and distorts memory, for better or for worse. 

I've told you a little about my dress.  Here's a reminder, with someone else wearing it (and yes, she's got much bigger boobs than I do, which some of you commented on the first time I posted this--thanks).

 

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Recently, I had my first fitting.  It was the first time I had seen my dress in over a year.

I admit, I was a little apprehensive.  After all, I did not have the "aha!" moment when I found my dress, and doubts ensued.  I narrowed down the cause of my concern to two possible reasons, neither of which really assuaged my dress doubts. 

Possible Reason #1 for Dress Doubt
I had looked at so many dresses that my eventual decision became somewhat...scientific, if you will, because in this dress I had found several features of other dresses that I liked. 

It had the: (1) rouched bodice; (2) asymmetrical waistline; (3) slight but not deep sweetheart neckline; and (4) fit and flare skirt. So it's like a math equation where the sum equals the the right dress, right? RIGHT???

Had I overly focused on these specific features above the holistic appearance of the dress? Was it just wrong to try to be so "logical" in buying a dress?  Was it an experimental formula gone wrong?   

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Get me a fire extinguisher, stat!

Possible Reason #2 for Dress Doubt
Perhaps, after trying on about 100 dresses, I was suffering from dress fatigue, and allowed my desire to be done with the whole thing cloud my judgment. Oh why oh WHY didn't I have an energizing cookie before my appointment?

I was a worried pug.

 

(I'm not sure my pug is actually worried in this photo, but pugs just kinda have a worried look, you know?)

Did any of you have dress doubt? What were the reasons?