A Little Bling

My mom originally suggested that I wear a tiara for the wedding. I responded that she was nuts. Other people can pull it off really well, but I'm not a tiara type of girl.  I'm also not a bracelet type of gal, and I did not want a necklace because my dress will have a halter strap and I wanted to keep my decolletage uncluttered.

Ok, i'll fess up. i don't really have a distinctive decolletage so speak of.  But don't people want to see my collarbone?  I wouldn't want to deny anybody this privilege. 

So for wedding bling, I just focused on earrings. Oh Regina B., you wring my heart into a lifeless little tissue.

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Sigh--these Regina B's were about $180 to $190.  That's 2 unlimited monthly MetroCards, people!!

Where to go for something affordable? Mrs. Champagne mentioned that Emitations was a good site. There is so much cool stuff on there, and most for under $100 (i.e. can still be pricey, but nice to know that I don't have to spend $150 plus). I eyed these little baubles:

 

Source ($79)

Source ($68)

Sparkles Forever is another costume jewelry site where I found several options.

 

Source ($69)

Source ($36) (Selma insisted on saying hello)

Amy's Bridal Accessories also had some lovely options:

Source ($58)

All these great options. I was strongly leaning towards Amy's Bridal.  But before I let you know what I decided, does anyone have recommendations for other good costume jewelry sites?

Internet Dating during Wedding Planning

After finding the venue, choosing a photographer was the biggest item on the to-do list.  Finding a photographer was akin to finding a date on an internet site. And trust me, I have had experience with internet dating sites.  I tried nerve, match, you name it.

I meticulously combed Here Comes the Guide (vendor guide for California weddings), the Wedding Photographer Photojournalist Association, and the Weddingbee boards for any ideas about photographers in Northern California. It felt like perusing hundreds of potential dates' profiles.  I came along 39 East Photography.  It caught my interest.

Source: 39 East Photography posted on The Bride's Cafe

Source: 39 East Photography posted on The Bride's Cafe

I looked at their website and their blog (like any good obsessive internet dater). With a deep breath, I finally sent an email (much like a "wink" or "hello"--you know, if you haven't internet-dated this whole analogy will be lost on you).

CK, the photographer, and I exchanged a few introductory messages. I told him a little about myself. He told me a little about 39 East. The company is based in Singapore and is breaking into the US wedding market, and CK was willing to work with our budget.

After a few rounds of emails, we set up a time to talk on the phone. This was the first extended conversation I had with any vendor (besides for venues) and I was super nervous. However, CK was really sweet and nice. He was unassuming, articulate and friendly.

I was like, wow, that was great! Like love at first talk! I had such this great feeling about it that when I talked to my sister about the phone call, I was practically giddy. It was instant vendor chemistry, I couldn't resist!

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However, after talking to and meeting a few more photographers, I began to waver. While CK offered the best price and I loved his photos, he was, after all, the first photographer to whom I had spoken. He was the one photographer that I did not get to meet in person. 

I mean, wasn't that other photographer I eventually met really super sweet? Didn't I think she was really pretty?  And how about the one with a nice studio? My mom and sister really liked him! Doesn't family opinion matter a lot?

Oh I was so confused! Who to choose, who to choose? Could I trust my heart? Was I being flighty? Overly romantic? Argh!

Source (this is what worrying does to me) 

To help resolve my concerns, I demanded that CK and I speak again. He obliged--but did he seem less eager this time? Was he wary? Did he sense that I had ventured elsewhere? Egads, the pressure.

On our second phone call, CK was the same CK--professional, articulate and easygoing. His photos are lovely. Really lovely. I trusted myself and signed a contract. A few months later, he and his wife came to NYC and we had dinner. I'm happy to report that he was who I thought he was, and all was well. CK, I never should have doubted what we had (I only publish this because CK has a sense of humor and will laugh instead of calling the police).

Anyone else need to "sow your wild oats" before settling on a vendor that you found early on?  On another note, how about experiences "breaking up" with a vendor that you didn't choose?

Can't Hurt to Ask. Or Sometimes It Does

I'm not the best at haggling/negotiating to get a lower price.  I get a little nervous--I don't want to seem too pushy or presumptuous.

 

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However, I found a subtle way of getting a lower price.  I used to always appreciate when vendors posted their prices on their website since I didn't have to get off my ass and call or email (which, granted, I could still do sitting on my ass but I would have to exert more movement in my fingers and arms). In general I still appreciate website prices, but I found a benefit to unlisted prices during my search for a photographer.

I contacted a photographer who had not listed her prices.  She sent me her price list, which was too expensive for my budget. When she didn't hear from me, she sent me a follow-up email. I told her honestly that I couldn't afford her but that her work was beautiful. She quickly wrote me back to say that she wanted to recommend one of her assistant photographers, for a lower price. Score!

This happened a few more times with other photographers offering an assistant or a discounted package. It didn't hurt that my wedding was small and that it was in March, not a busy month for weddings.

Of course, there was this one photographer who had been on my mind since almost the beginning of my wedding planning. I loved her website. I loved her photos. Heck, I loved the music that she played on her website.  As expected, her prices were sky high. When I told her that unfortunately I couldn't afford her but perhaps she could recommend someone she knew more in my price range, she wrote back something to the effect of:

"You won't find a photographer for that price, not in this area. I suggest that instead of having photos taken at your wedding, that you arrange a photo shoot sometime after."

Which in my head, sounded a lot like:

"You suck, and only rich people can have pictures taken at their wedding. Good luck, lameass! Bwahahaha!" 

 

See, so it *usually* doesn't hurt to be honest, to thank them for the time, and to leave a hint or question that your budget is smaller than they charge.  Anyone else have some polite techniques/questions one can use to see if there is a less expensive option?

Shoe Dummy Gains an Unprecedented 2 IQ Points

Last time I posted about my search for shoes and my purchase of 3.5" heels despite the fact that I swore off heels a few years ago.  So you're thinking, you dumbass. But wait! I *did* learn a little something through my shoe trials and tribulations. I know it is almost a given that my Tahari slingbacks will hurt me after a few hours into the wedding. So I began a search for comfortable flip-flops that I could change into.

I wanted white flip flops (keep it simple) and a tall heel (at least 3") so my dress hem wouldn't drag on the ground.  This search was a bit obstructed by inflated "wedding prices" (not many people besides brides want white flip flops with a heel above 1") and a shape that did not do much for the comfort aspect.  

For example, these following flips are cute, but the shape of the arch is still curved at an angle that I might as well be wearing regular heels.  In addition, they cost $30 or more, whereas I was really hoping to find something around $20

Source ($34 at bridalshoes.com)

Source ($44.99 at advantagebridal.com)

Eventually, I found these from mydivascloset for $17:

 

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These have an elevated platform for the whole foot (only a slight arch), and are under $20. 

Smart, eh? Well, it doesn't stop there It might rain the day of our wedding (our locale is known for that during March), so I also got these:

Source ($26.50 Puddleton rain boots from Discount Safety Gear)

Yeah, not so dumb right? Or, maybe you say--I could have just foregone the heels altogether and gotten the flip flops, and your shoe expenses would be half of what it is.  You have a point, but I am too busy hobbling away in my hot pink patent leather peep toes. 

Do you have back-up shoes for comfort or weather purposes?

The Sole Around My Brain is Quite Thick

I am a few standard deviations below the national IQ when it comes to shoes. I committed sins like wearing gym socks with any shoe, not just sneakers (and fugly shoes at that), which led me to the totally self-created and false belief that my feet were a good whole size above my actual shoe size. People, this lasted into my twenties. This is embarrassing.

I am also a wuss about wearing heels. My knees hurt even thinking about it.  Oh of course, once in a while I would stray and buy a pair of cute heels, usually for work, only to end up hating myself as I slowly pried the shoe from my bloody foot at the end of a day.

Source (I know, a little gross, but I think it's funny--it's fake! Don't panic!)

 
So after all these lessons learned and the bitterness with which I regard my past cobbler foibles, what do you think I decided to do for my wedding? Yep, you guessed it! I'm wearing HEELS! Not just any heels, but 3.5" heels! 

I searched high and low (I mean, as high and low as one can go without leaving the comfortable butt imprint on her chair in front of the computer) for shoes under $100. I did not want satin shoes, since all I will almost certainly snag and stain them. I preferred peep toes to relieve a bit of the pressure caused by walking in heels. And I wanted color, like many other brides.

Something like this would have been lovely (Christian Louboutin slingbacks):

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Note: I once went apesh%t at a Bergdorf Goodman designer shoe mega "sale" ("sale" meant 65% marked down from $1000) and giggled maniacally while trying on dozens of shoes.  However, these CL's broke two of my rules.  Not only were they satin, but practically bazooka-ed my $100 rule.

These Chinese Laundry shoes were a much more affordable option, for $19.95 from 6pm.com:

At some point in life, my sister had a bloody and blistery battle with a tenacious set of Chinese Laundry shoes and forbade me from buying these (how you like that alliteration, btw?).

This Cynthia Rowley pair was nice, and only a smidgen above my budget at $112 at 6pm.com:

However, still over budget.  Eventually, I found these Tahari slingbacks at DSW ($75; no longer available):

Yipee! I have been occasionally wearing the shoes around the apartment to break them in and train myself to walk in heels in a manner that doesn't look like my kneecaps are falling off.

Did you break out of your usual habits in buying shoes for your wedding?  

Bridal Virus Cured (For Now)

So, I was looking for a hair flower, having decided that I really needed one.  I had begun the search process thinking that I would use a real flower since it would be less expensive and disposable--however, my ventures into the world of Etsy soon led me to other conclusions.

After perusing about a few hundred options on Etsy, I found some deco clay gardenia flowers--I loved the detail and the "real" look of them. They would also stand up better than a real flower.  I almost bought this gorgeous one for $23 from Blissful Moments.

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This one sells for $20 (by dkdesigns, whose clay flowers were used at Mrs. Pineapple's wedding, and are gorgeous--please go look now)

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Oh the amnesia--I mean, I didn't even want a fake flower in the first place because I would have no use for it after the wedding. Was I falling prey to one of those wedding mind tricks where we *need* things? 

More importantly, would I rue the day I decided not to wear a hair flower on my wedding day? The answer was no, and I decided to forego the flower. Anti-climactic, huh? 

Did anyone take some time to step back from a purchase and realize that they didn't need it?

Me Likey Me Wantey Bridal Virus

Hair flowers are quite popular lately with brides, and for good reason. They add a bit of extra romance, an accent, a little pizazz. However, it's not trendy in a way that will look dated. And did I want to jump on that wagon? With a running leap, yes. As almost every bride (and groom) knows, planning a wedding convinces you that you need many things that you had previously wanted with all your heart, but just didn't know.

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Source: Jennifer Behr via here

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At first I considered a real flower because I figured it would be cheaper and I don't need a hair flower after the wedding (I'm just not that fashionable). However, when it came to attaching a comb or pin or barrette or whatever-it-is-we're-talking-about-here to a real flower, I was lost. And no, I did not overcome this by figuring out how to do this myself and doing a couple of trials. I just gave up.

So, enter Etsy (is it eet-sy or eh-tsy? discuss.), which is great if you either: (1) know exactly what you're looking for and can type in enough keywords to narrow your search; or (2) you have nothing to do at work so you can sift through the hundreds of listings.  I won't tell you which one I am.

If you know anything about hair flowers you probably know the beautiful work of Twigs and Honey. And if you don't, ta-da!

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There are plenty of other sellers on etsy who make hair flowers, like Mikiye:

Source ($50) 

Mrs. Martini rocked out a gorgeous gardenia on her wedding (I also love the hairdo--it's pretty fabulous), that she got from SmittenXOXO on Etsy.

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I really liked the gardenia, and have always loved gardenias because of their heavenly scent and creamy look.

So what to get? What to choose?  Anyone else donning a fleur de cabeza for their big day?