Kids

For 32 years of my life, I absolutely did not want children.  I know I'm not alone in this. Walking through crowds of children at a museum or Halloween would literally make my heart beat faster and send involuntary shivers up my spine.  When I thought of children, this is what I would picture:

 

Jill Greenberg via here

 

Natalie Dee

Lest you think I'm an ogre for disliking children, let me explain that my feelings came more from a fear of failure in my ability to raise children:

 

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I was very blunt about my feelings with Kevin when we started dating.  As time went on, sometimes, just for kicks, I would mention something about having children and if he responded affirmatively--as in, going along with my purported assumption that we would have kids one day--I would whip around, point my finger at him and yell "YOU FAILED! You failed the test! You DO want kids, how dare you!"

Notice that this post has been in the past tense.  About a year ago, I started to consider the possibility of having children.  I'll explain more about why I started to have a change of heart in my next post, but until then here's an example of how my attitude began to change--slooowly change. 

Me: Kevin, wouldn't it be cute if one day we could be walking around Central Park with our kid?
Kevin: (pause, looking into my eyes to see whether loving or crazy me has shown up)...Yes, that would be nice.
Me: So you want one? Really? (smiling sweetly)
Kevin: (feeling relaxed) Yeah, I want to have kids with you.
Me: Do you want me to be pregnant and unhappy and miserable?
Kevin: No, no, no, what are you talking about?
Me: Alright then, listen carefully, because I'm only gonna say this once, and in code. Second pug. Puppy. Now. Don't ask questions, just do it.

Incidentally, we did get a second pug.  Boy, I guess Kevin really wants kids.

 

 

What do you prefer, pets or children? Okay no really, if you want kids, have you always wanted kids? And if you don't want kids, are you on the same page as your partner?