Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I Have the Power

Last time, I talked about how Kevin and I do not have the kind of wedding planning relationship that really involves him. Hehe.  So what kind of relationship is it?

Photo by Ananda Lima 

Okay well not totally true.  This is the type of conversation that typifies our wedding planning dynamic: 

Scene #1: Evening of our Engagement Day, at Romantic Dinner
Me: So honey, I was thinking about some dates for the wedding...
He: [smile from face slowly disappears]
Me: It would be great to do it in the spring or fall...
He: [eyes space out, looks down]
Me: But I'm not sure if that would work with our schedules...
He: [starts to shrink in his seat, to the point where I have to look over far edge of table to see him]
Me: And should we get married in California or New York?
He: Can we stop talking about this? This is stressing me out.

Scene #2: The Day I Realize that We Are Going to Have a Formal Ceremony
Me: So originally we weren't going to have a ceremony, because it's such a pain in the ass.
He: Yeah.
Me: But the more I've talked about it with people and thought about it, I think it makes sense to do something.  People like ceremonies, and it gives focus to the day.
He: Yeah.
Me: I didn't want a formal ceremony, but now it seems like we'll be having one.  
He: Uh-huh
Me: Honey, do you mind having a more formal...
He: [cutting me short] Whatever you want, honey [returns to internet surfing]

Scene #3: After I've Addressed the Wedding Envelopes but Before I've Made the Invitations, Kevin Talking on Phone to His Mom
He: [on phone] Yeah, I think we're inviting so-and-so.  [to me] Honey are we inviting so-and-so?
Me: Yes, I've told you multiple times that that we will do so once as you give me their mailing address.
He: [on phone] Yep, the invitations are all ready to go.  Mina just finished them.
Me: [swiping him on the arm] What are you talking about? Those are empty envelopes sitting on the table.  The invites aren't even done--did you see me working on any invites lately? [pause] Hey, do you even know what our invite looks like?

I know I poke fun at the whole "collaboration", but it's because...well, it's funny, in an archetypal/stereotypical bride-groom classic clash way. It doesn't bother me (at least not yet), and in the meantime, this is what works for us.  I make the decisions, tell him about it if I feel like it, and lucky for me--he's been okay with every single thing.

Alright, let's hear about some knock-down drag-out fights that y'all have had regarding the wedding! I'm kidding...okay fine, share a story about how you guys have worked well together.


  1. Oh, he's excited all right. Excited that the wedding is going to be the perfect event that you have envisioned for the past 30 years.

  2. It's nice to work together sometimes, but I wouldn't mind not having my ideas questioned at every turn! Relish the decision making! :D