The Before and After

The wedding reception ended, but we were lucky to have spent much more time with our guests than that during the course of the weekend.  Because we wanted to spend as much time as possible with our 46 guests, we scheduled other weekend events that helped us relax and celebrate with everyone:

• Ladies' Spa Time
• Welcome Event
• Wedding Day Getting Ready
• After-Dinner Drinks in Bridal Suite
• Farewell Brunch

Ladies' Spa Time

On the Friday before the wedding, there was some downtime between the rehearsal and Welcome Event, which I planned to use by heading straight to the spa.  I also thought it would be a nice opportunity to have a little "girl time" before all the formal wedding events started.  So a few days before the wedding, I emailed the female guests with the following: 

On Friday, March 19 from about 5 p.m. to 6:15 p.m., I will be at the Ritz-Carlton spa to relax in the hot tubs and pad around in slippers and a robe.  If anyone wishes to join, please feel free! The use of the common areas of the spa is free to all guests staying at the Ritz.  For others wishing to use the spa, there is a $50 day fee.

Here are the amenities of which I will be taking full advantage:

• Steam room/Sauna (are these different? I don't know) (women only)
• Jacuzzi (women only)
• Roman mineral bath (coed, so don't go naked)
• Heated swimming pool
• Fitness Center (not on my list of things to do, but you are more than welcome, of course)
• Relaxation rooms with water, tea and coffee

A few ladies joined me in this little haven (I would show you pics of us but we were nekkid. Haha not):

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Welcome Event

Since our wedding was semi-destination, we wanted to invite all the guests to the "rehearsal dinner", which we called the "Welcome Event".  It was wine and heavy hors d'oeuvres served in one of the rooms at the hotel, hosted by my mother-in-law.  We included the Welcome Event in the schedule that was sent with our invitations, and here's the excerpt from our wedding website regarding the event:

Please join us Friday evening for wine & hors d'oeuvres at the Pacifica Room in the Ritz Carlton. If you have a big appetite, though, feel free to dine first at the Conservatory Lounge located in the Ritz-Carlton, or at any of the restaurants in the area.

Children are more than welcome, especially if they like to drink wine. 

Party and casual cocktail attire welcome (suits are not necessary).

I didn't do anything except select the food and wine for this event.  We used the few flowers and piped-in music provided by the hotel, and that was it.  Despite this appalling lack of effort on my part, what mattered was that the guests were ready to kick off the weekend, and kick it off they did.  Everyone drank and ate to their hearts' content, and laughter and conversation filled the room the entire evening.

Look at my friend on the left guzzling it down

Triplet of three sweetest guys ever (their wives made me write that)

Someone shouldn't be making a toast when she's tipsy

Look at that awesome bulletin board in the back that I scrounged up as decor

Wedding Day Getting Ready

I was so looking forward to the "getting ready" time the morning of the wedding.  Since I did not have a formal bridal party, I was not automatically surrounded by my bestest lady friends, so I invited the female guests to visit the bridal suite during that time.  

In the email that I sent to the ladies regarding the spa time, I also included the following:

I want to spend as much time with all of you as possible.  To that end, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. on the wedding day (Saturday March 20), please feel free to drop by the bridal suite (location TBA) to say hello.

Some of my friends dropped by so I didn't feel like a loser, and we chatted, ate, drank some bubbly, and shared the building excitement for the day.

Yes, I look heinous, but cut me some slack I hadn't had any bubbly yet. I was thirsty.

After-Dinner Drinks in Bridal Suite

We wanted to keep the momentum of the reception going, and informally spread the word at the reception that anyone was welcome to join us in the bride & groom suite (not the bedroom silly, in the living room of the suite) for some drinks.  It was nice to unwind after the reception, to relax and get schlumpy.

It was really all about hanging out with the pugs and drinking some more bubbly

Wow. Flattering.  Guess someone was sleepy. Me, not the pug. The pug sleeps no matter what.

This was so low-key.  We had bought some beer and bubbly, and asked the hotel to bring us a tray of flutes.  It was very chill and just a nice way to end the evening.

Farewell Brunch

One of the things my sister and her husband wished they had done at their wedding 12 years ago was a farewell brunch the day after the wedding.  With that in mind, they generously hosted an awesome brunch for our guests the next morning.  And I mean awesome--we're talking eggs Benedict with crab, cheese blintzes with berry sauce, and some of the tastiest bacon I've ever had, not to mention gobs of other stuff.

In addition to including the event in the schedule that went out with the invitations, we had the following tidbit on our wedding website: 

Oh does it have to end so soon? Never fear, we wouldn't let you leave with an empty stomach. Please join us for a casual brunch on Sunday where we can enjoy your company and some tasty food. Like cinnamon rolls.
Oh, is it deja vu? Well yes! Brunch will be in the same room as the Saturday night wedding celebration.

Bring the kids along!

Black tie attire mandatory (kidding--totally casual).

It was a lovely, relaxed way to finish out the weekend.

That boy in the red jacket kept calling my dad "grandpa". Thanks kid, no pressure.

I am so grateful and lucky that my family members were able to host these additional events.  It made the weekend that much better because it maximized not only our time with the guests but also the guests' time with each other.  These events helped increase the feeling of celebration and camraderie that I believe really carried the weekend.

Are you planning any other events around your wedding?

All personal and guest photos

Making Merry

So guests found their tables.  And hopefully they looked at their menus.  What were they waiting for? Us! I don't remember what happened because we had not planned on doing a "grand" entrance, but we had one anyway.

We were introduced by none other than my brother in law, who did a fabulous fabulous job as the emcee for the evening...

People gave heartfelt and funny toasts...

We played the shoe game (and it was fun!)...

And just made merry. 

While I had been anxious about having a no-dancing wedding, I'm here to let people know that you can have a fabulous, fun wedding reception without dancing.  I love to dance, but it wasn't in the cards for our wedding plans and I can honestly say that I didn't miss it at all.

The evening was so full of friends and family catching up, getting to know each other, laughing, eating, drinking, and celebrating that we were overflowing with good vibes and good times. Dancing would have been great as well, of course, but I'm just saying that it's okay not to have dancing--your friends and family are there to celebrate you and they know how to have a good time without dancing. Ultimately, it was our guests and their energy that carried the evening (as did our scheduled toasts, the shoe game, and cake cutting--gotta provide some structure, you know?).

What do you think is the most important part of getting a wedding party going (for both dancing and non-dancing receptions)?

Photos courtesy of CK Hwang/39 East Photography

Before You Start Eating...

When guests found their way to their tables, they would have found their menus at each place setting.  I think there's something kind of exciting about opening up a restaurant menu and perusing the delicious choices.  We wanted the dinner reception to feel like a real treat for the guests, so menus were a must.

To create the menus, I got myself some wedding elves (i.e. my sister and her husband).  Then, I purchased metallic sage 5 x 5 cardstock from Paper Presentation. My sister Gocco'd our infamous artichoke image on the cardstock, and then inkjet printed menu text that I had created in Word.

My brother in law rounded the corners and meticulously spray glued each menu onto another, slightly larger (5.75 x 5.75) piece of cardstock, in Caramel Metallic.

Final product:

Personal photo

And what, my hungry hive, were these menus describing?  Here are the tasty morsels we chose for our guests' enjoyment.

Half Moon Bay Artichoke Bisque with Goat Cheese Flan

Pan Seared Scallop with Polenta Cake

Pancetta Wrapped Black Cod with Leek Fondue

Golden Vanilla Cake with choice of Cookies 'n' Cream or Caramel Toffee Frosting

And they washed it all down with a choice of Tablas Creek “Cote de Tablas” (2005), Ferrari-Carano Fume Blanc (2007), or Domaine Chandon Brut Rose.

 

I'm very, very happy to say that the food was one of the highlights at the wedding--everything was delicious and I think our guests were quite pleased.  Food was one of the most important aspects of the wedding to us, and we could not have been more satisfied.

What kind of tasty morsels are you looking forward to chowing on at your wedding?

All photos courtesy of CK Hwang/39 East Photography unless otherwise noted.

You'll Sit Where I Tell You to Sit

After the cocktail hour, the hotel staff nudged and herded our guests to the reception room.  To inform guests where they were going to sit, I loved the idea of edible escort favors.  It would not only let guests know at which table they were sitting, but also, who doesn't enjoy a little something tasty?

My original idea was to make some shortbread cookies, plop 'em in a cello bag, tie it with a tag and be done with it.  My sister, who was my much more ambitious right hand during the wedding planning, wanted to do something more complicated, like these:

 

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Despite my protests, she was determined to make them, and make them she did.

Personal photo

Is she not amazing? I mean, like, amazing? Not only did she make the cookies and the icing, she handmade all those little violets on top. She *made* them. Plus, she made two flavors of cookies--lime and lavender--and colored the icing accordingly.  See aforementioned "is she not amazing" question, please.

We placed each cookie cake stack in a cellophane bag, folded down the tops of the bags, and stapled them (they were too short to just tie with a ribbon).  We looped two tags--one tag with the guest's name, the other with the table number--through a gold ribbon, and hot glued the ribbon bow to each bag. 

Photo by CK Hwang/39 East Photography

The tag with the person's name was hanging on the other side, but you don't get to see my chicken scratch.

Like Hansel and Gretel (minus the children-eating witch part), our guests used their escort card cookie treats to find their dinner tables.  And how did we label the tables?

Back in the old days, I had considered many of the great options out there for table numbers.  We liked the idea of naming the tables after places or things important to us, but also wanted guests to easily find their tables (i.e. looking for number digits is easier than reading words).  In the end, we labeled tables with both a name and number.

For the names, we used bakeries that have meaning for us.  There was little question about this.  Kevin and I had our first date at a bakery, we make trips to our neighborhood bakeries at least three times a week, and we both have a crazy sweet tooth.

Do you see me? I'm like get off of me, I am eating something containing sugar. 

After I created the design and text, my sister inkjet printed the table numbers and names on 5.75" square ivory linen cardstock.

Personal photo

Yeah, no pics, no embellishments, no cut-outs, nothing.  I was at a point where I did not have energy to think of something fabulous (not that that would be my only excuse).  However, to save myself from total boredom, I wrote short descriptions for the back of each card describing the significance of the bakery. 

For example:

Table 1: Hungarian Pastry Shoppe

For their first date back in July 2006, Kevin suggested Hungarian Pastry Shoppe, a standby of the Morningside Heights neighborhood that offers an array of baked goods.  That was a sure way to win Mina’s heart.

Table 2: Jacques Torres

Mina & Kevin were overjoyed when a branch of Jacques Torres opened up right around the corner from their apartment.  Although they consider the shop's almost pudding-like hot chocolate a delight, Mina and Kevin's particular favorite is Jacques' famous chocolate chip cookies.

Table 4: Bay Bread Boulangerie

Who can resist the maracons of Bay Bread Boulanderie? Mina first discovered this delightful San Francisco bakery when she lived in the area, and has introduced Kevin to its deliciousness.  His favorite is the pear and Cambozola baguette sandwich.  Her favorite is, and will always be, the lavender macarons.

To hold the table number up, I considered DIY wine cork holders but that quickly fell by the wayside when I realized that it wold involve...well, effort.  Instead, we used the handy metal doodads (called "stanchions") provided by the venue.  Good 'nuff.

Guest photo--by the way just LOOK at that yummy centerpiece! I just wanna hug it.

How are you planning to tell your guests where to sit?

Give Me My Bee's Knees Now, Please

Now that we said our vows, it was time to mingle, eat, drink, and celebrate with our loved ones!

I love a good cocktail hour. Love it love it love it.  A drink in one hand, a tasty morsel in the other, mingling, laughing, and the fun vibe of getting the evening started.  It was crucial to me not to miss the cocktail hour.  We did steal away for a few minutes with our photographer somewhere in there (honestly I can't remember exactly when), but otherwise we were present and in force for the festivities.

To start things off, immediately after the ceremony--and I mean immediately, as in, the servers were waiting with trays at the back of the ceremony--guests were greeted with our Bee's Knees cocktails...

Trays of beef tenderloin with horseradish cream on crostini...

Foie gras torchon on brioche with fruit compote...

And Dungeness crab fritters, miniature Beef Wellingtons, and Kalamata goat cheese tarts (no pics, SO SAD especially of the crab fritters because they were gooooood).

At one point my sister was looking for me because it seemed that I had disappeared, but then on a very good hunch she went to the bar and there I was. We didn't pay for no open bar for nothing, that's what I say.

Man I can't get over how cute and happy my parents look.  FYI my dad (pictured above) is a total ham. Hands-down he was the most popular person at the wedding. Nobody got away without some quality time with him.

Some others just felt like taking it easy...

But still not without a cocktail (heehee gotta love my 80+ year old uncle getting tipsy). 

Anybody else thirsty right now?  Who else enjoys a good cocktail hour?

All photos courtesy of CK Hwang/39 East Photography

Joint

I wanted to pause my recaps and hash something out that's been on my mind.

As far as any big changes that came along with getting married, there were not many for us--we live together, have two dogs together, we are each keeping our last names, etc. Of course it's been a trip getting to call him my "husband," but otherwise it's been low-key.

So I am weirdly excited about deciding what to do with our finances. (Freudian blip: I first typed that as "my finances" and had to go back and edit to "our finances." So telling.)  Anyway, there's the whole question of whether to do completely joint, completely separate, or a combination where you have a joint account as well as individual accounts.

I had always assumed that we would do the combo--joint account as well as separate accounts.  But now I don't know.  Here are the reasons I can think of for the combo route:

1.  Maintaining financial independence.  Hm, I may have lost this race before it started.  I'm not financially independent from Kevin.  We already share expenses and I could not afford to do many important things without him--like, um, live in our apartment.

2.  Making spending decisions without accountability to spouse.  It would be nice to buy gifts for Kevin on the sly, but this alone doesn't seem a sufficient reason to maintain a separate account.  Plus, Kevin and I do not tend to disapprove of each other's spending habits because neither of us buy a lot of personal items.  The items we do purchase are usually big ticket (i.e. laptop, furniture) and for the home, so they are a joint decision anyway.

3.  If we get divorced, having my own money (related to #1).  This is practical, but for obvious reasons, depressing.  Still, depressing is not a reason to avoid something that could make sense.

I know I'm missing other issues, and would like to hear your reasons about why you are going to go joint, separate or combo.  This is a very personal decision, unique to every couple, so don't worry, I'm not looking for "the answer," but rather just your thoughts.

Okay, I Was Wrong

Now that our guests were busily *not* reading the programs we made, onto the ceremony.

I've written about the fact that originally we did not want a ceremony.  I felt like no one would be interested in watching us stand up for 20 minutes blabbing about our commitment, but as I mentioned our no-ceremony idea to more people, I heard subtle hints like: "Stop. You should have a ceremony."  I was talked out of that resistance, and I have to say I am very happy that I surrendered. And yes, I was wrong. I WAS WRONG. Okay??!

The ceremony provided a meaning and focal point for the day, and set the celebratory yet deeply meaningful tone to the day.  Yes, this point is obvious to many--but in case anyone out there is feeling blase about the whole thing, take a lesson from me.

The music started, and our officiant and families walked down the aisle...

Kevin's family looks absolutely thrilled that we're getting married

Wait a second, is that...could it be? Yes! Pugs with sparkly lavender tulle flowers!

Uncooperative pug alert

Then it was our turn.  Before I even met Kevin, I had read the amazingly touching story of this couple.  Their willingness to follow their instinct to be together as opposed to hewing with tradition made me realize, way back when, that walking into the ceremony with my future husband would not only be incredibly special, but also make sense to me.  Of course, I wanted to make sure that my father was alright with this idea--his response was "Whatever you want, I'm okay with."

So Kevin and I made our entrance from the hill above the ceremony site...

And made our way to stand in front of our very good friend Kim, who did an amazing job as our officiant...

I love that she's giving us the finger in her attempt to hold onto our rings

And stated to each other the words that are so going to give me the grounds to say "Well you married me so what are you going to do about it now, huh?" from here to ETERNITY...

And we were wed.

I have to go back to one moment in the ceremony that really touched me.  My mom was to give a reading at the ceremony, and when she stood up to read, she turned the microphone around so that she could face us. Right before she started, she put her head down and we could hear the emotion caught in her throat even though she hadn't said a word.  The pause lasted only a moment, but even now it makes me tear just thinking about it.  She then proceeded to give a beautiful and touching reading...

I die. I just die.

And lest you think I didn't have my moment with my father because I cheated him out of walking down the aisle with me...

Any particular moments you are anticipating to be emotional?

Photos courtesy of CK Hwang/39 East Photography