I ducked into one of the pop-up Halloween stores the other day to see if there was yet more useless things I could buy to get myself in the spirit of the holiday. The store was full of mostly creepy crap, like zombie babies with one eye and green goo spurting out the top of their heads, and a display of gross, scary figures...oh never mind this isn't very descriptive.
Then I hit this section in the store with kids' stuff.
Awww, isn't that cute. You can stuff candy into Elmo's head. I turned to the right, expecting more happy kid stuff, and saw this instead:
It just kinda struck me as funny. Elmo on one side, and Mr. Crazy Thing on the other.
Eh he. Hehe...he...I actually find that pretty scary.
Speaking of juxtapositions, we are now moving on to something completely unrelated...
The lovely Terri at Try Anything Once tagged me. I do not usually participate in chain-mail sorts of stuff because I'm horrible at these things, but Terri is so awesome that there's no way I could resist. Plus, I get to talk about myself. So. Seven things you may not know about me.
1. I am two-faced when it comes to tidiness. I try to keep the apartment clean and tidy. I don't like junk laying around. I vacuum several times a week. I do the dishes at least twice a day. Overall, it stays pretty organized, even if not spotless and perfect.
My office, on the other hand, is fucking disaster area. There is a multitude of crap spilling all over my desk, boxes stacked all against the walls, etc. And I've had to purchase a dustbuster to vacuum hair (mine) and fur (pugs') off my office chair.
2. I want a pit bull. So much so that I was daydreaming about this other life I had with a pit bull who was loving and protective, who died while protecting me, and I cried for 15 minutes. It was awful.
3. I eat packaged ramen once a week. It's my weekend treat. Sapporo brand, beef flavor. I have a particular way about preparing it. I heat some water in a tea kettle until scalding. In a separate pot, I heat water until boiling and cook the noodles for exactly 3 minutes. Then I drain the noodles and rinse them (I have gotten it into my head that this method gets rid of a lot of fat, but really I could just be fooling myself). I put the drained noodles into a bowl with plenty of kimchee, pour in the kettle water, and put some of the seasoning packet in. I loves it. It's very comforting to me.
4. In the past couple of months, I've purchased about $2000 worth of shoes. Yes, I know. Those of you one step ahead will have already guessed that I returned most of said shoes. I usually wear flats or low heels. I went into a flurry of shoe searching because I needed heels for work, but was having a bitch of a time because I always seemed to be in between sizes. Hence the multiple purchases and returns. Then a saleswoman took one look at my foot and said I have narrow heels. I think I heard the archangel (not being really sure what that is). So I have to buy narrow shoes, which are usually only available online. How much of the $2000 did I actually keep? Two pairs. Black heels and brown boots. Sooo boring.
5. You know how they say it's good to eat a lot of fiber because it helps keep you full? I think that's bullshit.
6. I'm sad thinking that, by the time any children we have will be old enough to remember, my pugs will have already passed away. I kind of assumed my pugs would be around with our children as they grew up, and then I did the math and realized that my beloved pugs will likely not play a big party in my children's memories. I think I'm going to cry again.
7. I once shaved my forearms in middle school. That was a mistake. I haven't really told anyone because: (1) I feel really silly about the whole thing and (2) it's inconsequential. Then on a Bridezillas episode, I saw a bride hurriedly shaving her forearms as she was getting ready for the wedding. It somehow made me feel better that someone else was doing this, on national television no less, but then I felt worse because I figured that considering myself on par with a Bridezilla was probably not the standard I should be going for.
I know many folks have already been tagged and I'm trying to avoid double-tagging. I'm tagging the following, although please know you have no obligation to take me up on this:
MintedLife
SashaCleo
Read Write Love
Mrs. In Training
I know many folks have already been tagged and I'm trying to avoid double-tagging. I'm tagging the following, although please know you have no obligation to take me up on this:
MintedLife
SashaCleo
Read Write Love
Mrs. In Training
I love this! :) You're funny. I think my pit bull mix would totally die while protecting me, and this made me get all teary-eyed. Are your little pugs protective? :)
ReplyDeletestephanie: oh ho i'm tagging you! the pugs are not protective. that's a funny idea. they're just in it for themselves.
ReplyDelete1st, that mask is super scary. Gah! and 2nd, I actually know a few people who shave their forearms (not me. I can barely stand to shave my legs).
ReplyDeleteWahhh, #6 made me tear up.
ReplyDeleteI'd be interested to hear what shoes and boots you ended up purchasing. I also have narrow heels, and have the hardest time finding shoes that fit.
ReplyDeleteI used to have to shave my arms for really big swimming competitions in high school and college! It always felt super weird growing back though... you're not alone :D And #6 made me really sad too! Glad you played along in the trivia game, though :)
ReplyDeletelobster: i know, that mask was really creeping me out. oh, and i don't like shaving my legs either--i usually cut myself, right along the shin bone. gross
ReplyDeletebigapplenosh: i know, i have to stop thinking about this.
ali n.: i sent you a message on weddingbee!
notesfromthebench: at least you had a valid reason to do it, and not just for kicks. heehee. i bet it made you really fast in the pool, eh?
that's a lot of crying over dogs that a) don't exist and b) are still alive.
ReplyDelete{raises hand} I shaved my arms once and it was so itchy growing back I thought, eff that. I'll be a hairy monster before I go through that again.
ReplyDeleteI hate scary stuff. Soooo now I'm mad at you for posting that clown mask. Me scared. Lol I'll take the elmo bucket though. THANKS.
These are hysterical, M. #7 made me laugh. If it makes you feel any better I used to yank my forearm hair out. I guess that's worse than shaving. As for #1 I'm the opposite. My workspace needs to be super tidy or I can't function, but my apartment is a total mess.
ReplyDeletesashacleo: you have a hard heart.
ReplyDeletejessica: yeah, that clown keeps getting creepier. eeewww...
nellie: hi nellie! yanking the hair out probably kept it bare for longer, so you're the smart one. heehee for some reason i think it's funny.
Um...you are hilarious! And, am I supposed to just tell you random shit about me? I'm new to all of this.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying so hard not to laugh AND cry! HILARIOUS that you shaved your arms and I have the SAME thoughts about our Boomer being gone before the not-yet-born-or-planned children are born. very sad :(
ReplyDeletePackaged ramen is so good. I try not to have too much water in the pot, because I like my ramen a tad al dente, and if you have too much water than the seasoning won't seep into the noodles as much. Maybe I will try rinsing them, I haven't done that before!
ReplyDeletePS: Clowns are way scary.
i rinse my instant noodles too. lol. i like the "removes fat" theory.
ReplyDeleteand i totally get #2. maybe it's the result of having a super vivid imagination or something, but i can definitely make myself cry over purely hypothetical situations.
I just passed out after reading #4. But that's only because I'm jealous. I find ramen delicious, but haven't had it in a long time. A couple months ago, I was scouring the interwebz for a healthier version. Haven't found one. Does that defeat the purpose? Healthy ramen? Like decaf coffee?
ReplyDelete