Monday, May 23, 2011

Fear of Commitment

I know myself. I change my mind. I'm lazy. Also, I don't like the feeling of my lungs burning.  You may wonder how that last sentiment fits in with all this.

In my last post, I quickly ninja-style threw out there that I had started the Couch to 5K program.  My sister had done it and now she's a friggin' running FIEND, Jessica did it and finished her first 5K (congrats!), and...okay that's actually all I know but whatever, it seemed the world had turned a corner.  You think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. My sister used to preach fire and brimstone against running, and was machine-gun ready with sarcastic (and well-reasoned) retorts against the purported benefits of running. And now look at her. She has special socks for running.  She tells me now that her new goal is to "improve her time". What the hell happened.

I used to run. The same way I used to go the gym. I always hated running. In college, having previously never gotten off my lazy ass for any exercise, I felt a lot of peer pressure to join the ranks of  walkman-toting, sports-bra clad hard-assed bodied females running all over my college campus. So I joined.  It was torture. I would count in my head or pray for Prince to hurry up and finish singing "Raspberry Beret" so that I would know my trials were over.  One time, I started running, and about 2 minutes into it, I just stopped. I pulled a U-turn and headed back to my dorm (with the comfort of an open, communal kitchen that was stocked with Mrs. Field's raw chocolate chip cookie dough batter in the freezer in convenient softball size). I clearly remember saying out loud, "I hate running."

So I can tell you a lot about how I hate running, but I can't tell you why I've started on this program. It's probably a combination of boring things:

  1. I need to exercise
  2. I need to exercise for free or low cost
  3. I need to exercise in a manner that doesn't take me far away from home
  4. I'm turning 35 and at some point I actually have to get in shape so that I have a long, happy life.  Especially if I have kids and am trying to keep up with them when I'm 70 (they'll be 10 years old by then, at the rate I'm going).
  5. I can feel my muscles going into atrophy
  6. Yoga wasn't cutting it. Not that I do yoga anymore.
My sister is excited and very supportive of my new endeavor.  She sent me an email with three 5K choices, so that I would have a specific race to work towards.  I replied "no". 

Then she said dogs were allowed at one of the races. At first I was like "Double No!" because of the mental image of carrying a pug for 5K, but she meant as a cheerleader. How cute would that be? So I said "okay, but I may not continue with running if it gets too hot".  Because I just can't commit. I don't know whether I'm going to finish this program.  I'm already behind, for crying out loud. 

I'm supposedly on Week 3 but like I said, I'm behind. I have no idea where I am. I just know that running for 3 minutes straight BURNS me like Gollum with the rope around his throat. 

So this post is pretty much about nothing.  Thank you and Happy Monday!


  1. I'd love to see you get into this since I'm the world's worst runner and at least then i can live vicariously through your efforts ;)

  2. That couch to 5k program sounds awesome, and I wish I could join but I just can't. I will never be a person that likes running. And it's too hot in Texas. See, already making excuses. But, I hope you do it so you can tell me about it.

  3. You can doooo it! I slogged my way (miserably) through that program and ran a 5K last October. Never mind that I have not run once since then. :) I've been trying to get back into the mindset of exercising, but with a knee injury my doc said I could either swim, or use a stationary bike - neither of which are available to me for free, soooo... not happening.

  4. There are three girls I know on Twitter (which you should have why don't you have it we could talk all the time about how awesome running is?!) that are doing the C25K program!

    And I'll be honest, I get bored. I turn on the TV and watch 20 minutes before wanting to go eat pizza. But it's true, like your sister, I have special shoes and outfits and socks and want to improve my time.

    Good luck my friend! I'm rooting for you. :D

  5. *I should add that I turn on the tv while on the treadmill. I didn't specify that I was actually exercising.

  6. OMG, are you writing about me? Yeah. The only think that I really like is Pilates but that sh!t is expensive. If only I could get a $1k machine to magically appear in my basement...hmm...

    For me running is a last resort. Like my ass is on fire and I must.get.away.NOW from something. I wish you luck!

  7. bigapplenosh: yes, just live vicariously, no need to come to the dark side.

    kelsey: i hear you. when it gets hot and muggy here, all bets are off.

    megan: thanks magan! it's nice to hear from people who have finished the program. oh my god i can't believe you don't have a swimming pool in your basement.

    jessica: you helped inspire me! thanks for your support. as for twitter, that's too new-fangled for me. i'd get confused and start crying.

    twentyfivefifty: that's hilarious--made me laugh out loud.

  8. WE'RE RACING!!! WE'RE RACING!!! (a la will farrell in old school)

    next on the list -- running panties.

  9. I can't run outside. The weather here is just NOT conducive to that. I'm great at running on my elliptical in the gym, though!

  10. I just started up C25K again this morning, and my body is reminding me every minute of today! I've never ever been a runner, but since I signed up for that dumb half marathon in January, I'd better make myself into one quick!
    I actually had fun today... because I enjoy being out in the neighborhood in the morning. :) Let's see how this goes for the rest of the week though...

  11. I *used* to be a runner. I detested it at first, but eventually grew to like it. Not love, mind you...but like. Then I met my husband (at that time, a random dude trying to pick me up in a bar). I stopped running. I haven't really run since. BUT...if I can do it, you can do it.

  12. I snorted when I imagined you running and carrying a pug. Though that's probably even better exercise. I think it's great you are doing this even. I can't. I've tried at various times in my life and I just feel so silly.

  13. I have been on step one of my work out program for two months, step one was buying proper shoes and a sports bra. Basically you are kicking my ass so there is that.

  14. Awww! I hate running too, but my crazy behind is going to be running a 5k next weekend. That should be pretty funny actually.

  15. dude, good luck to you! i hate running. :P or even jogging! but i believe you can do it! esp. if the pugs are cheering you on! though i did get a pretty funny mental picture of you carrying them through the race :) "Move a little faster, please? I like to feel the winnnnddd through my furrrr"

  16. Dude. I'm with you. If I set a goal I am destined to fail. My "get fit" program- yea, four days on the treadmill then never again. Lost 0 pounds. Fat as ever. Gr! I hate running as much as you do. Bad knees, one f'ed up calf muscle, bad back, asthma. In my mind the only reason to run is if someone bad is chasing you, and only if I have a reasonable chance of escaping which is unlikely since I never, ever run.

  17. I also hate running, and I don't think I'd ever sign up for a program like this so well done you for giving it a go.

    I do know it gets easier though (I used to play lacrosse where sadly running was a feature).

  18. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I will never be a runner. Even when I was 13 years old and probably the healthiest I've ever been (long before my first taste of alcohol and cigarettes), it still took me 13 minutes to finish running the mile.



  19. sashacleo: i am concerned that you are bordering on delusional.

    amanda: yeah, given how there's no way i was going to run in 90 degree weather, i'm not sure how anyone would manage in texas!

    kimberlymichelle: here's hoping to both of our success in C25K!

    fromscratch: you know, sad to admit, i kinda stopped working out when i met my husband too. they are bad influences!

    lobster and penga: the pugs would be all "wha? lady put me down and feed me stat"

    hemborgwife: congrats on step 1! heehee.

    mrs. a: yeah, if i so much as break a nail, this program will go off the rails. and your injuries are actually valid reasons not to exercise.

    deidre: dude, lacrosse seems intense. this c25k program is nothing compared to that!

    rabitstew: so let me make sure i have this, you won't ever never ever be a runner?