Monday, August 8, 2011


I haven't been able to piece together thoughts in a cohesive manner lately, preventing me from posting anything on the blog.  Let me show you what I mean.  Below is a sampling of the thoughts that have flittered throughout my mind as possible blog posts.  You'll see what treasures they are.  And you will feel blessed that I didn't write an entire post about any one of them.

Numbeeerr ONE!
I like getting massages. They are high on the list of things I like to do. I look for places that give a really good rate, usually bare-bones establishments that have only curtains separating the massage areas. For the price, I'm sure my neighbors didn't mind that one time I was snoring with the lung capacity and hibernation-type content of a black bear. Seriously, I woke myself up with the sound of my snoring.  I am entertaining.

However, sometimes I have an issue speaking up at massages if the pressure is too hard. I don't know if it has anything to do with my fear/respect of authority, or that I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, or the thought that I should toughen up and just take it in the face, etc.  In any case, I find myself in situations at these massages thinking of how I might describe the massage to someone else, like:

"I thought she was trying to separate my muscles from my bones"
"I thought if I could live through this, I will be okay when someone pummels me and throws me into the trunk of the car"
"She got on my back, on all fours, with her knees digging into the back of my knees, and started flailing her feet like she was doggy paddling, kicking me over and over and over again.  Then, I can't be sure because I was lying face down, but I'm pretty sure someone else came in and they both started kicking me" (this really happened)
"I wonder if I would feel stupid explaining to someone that my shoulder blade was broken because I refused to speak up at a massage.  You know, the massages that you pay for, presumably not to break your body"

That's that.

Nummmbbeeerrr TWO!
The pugs had diarrhea. It was a pleasure. No it was not.  I had bought them a new bag of food--not "new" in the sense of changing the brand or even the flavor--just the same replacement bag of food that I've been getting for the past couple of years.  So imagine my delightful surprise when both dogs came down with the runs.

I called the pet store and told them about my predicament (I really wanted to say "I AM DROWNING IN POOP THIS IS HUMILIATING") and they told me to come back in and exchange the food, no questions asked.  Well they did ask some questions, but it was normal stuff, like what food was the poopy culprit.  It was then that I found out that the company making the pugs' food started selling to a big chain, and that it was possible that the quality of the product had gone down in order to meet the new demand.

So of course I immediately get suckered into purchasing the most expensive pet food on earth. Okay maybe not the most expensive, but it's up there. 

Anyway, the diarrhea cleared up *like that* and we're good now. I don't have to go home each night after a work with a sense of trepidation and a gas mask, waiting to see the surprises my babies left me.

Nuummbbbeeer Three!
Kevin got me a Kindle last Christmas.  I thought of writing a post and never did. I like it. My sister bought me a hot pink cover for it. It is convenient--very light, you can get books instantly, and you're never caught finishing a book without another to start.  The screen is amazing and easy to read.  You can type in notes and make highlights, which creates this nifty little index compiling all the notes and marks that you've made--you know, the kind of index that allows you to look over your scholarly and deep deep thoughts in a way that impresses you with yourself.

It's not cost effective compared to hard copy books.  Publishers have started setting Kindle prices for their books, which are often a few bucks more than the paperback prices on Amazon. I would say screw you publishers, except that I know they're having a hard time so I will let them go.  This time.  The shivering that they were experiencing in their boots is on respite.

Do I miss the experience of reading a hard copy book? Sometimes, but surprisingly not as much as I thought. Actually, very little, and the whole holding-a-real-book was an emotional issue for me.  I think it helped that I still have some hard copy books that I plan on reading, because Kindle didn't have them available and/or I got them for a $1 at the local used book sale.  I haven't actually picked one up, though, but it's nice that they're in a huge heap near my bed.

That's it folks.

I will be back soon with more fascinating thoughts.

P.S. I have not been cooking much. And when I have, I just repeat recipes I've already posted here. I could probably post them again and no one would know the difference, but I have integrity. So much of it.