Christmas Decorations

My goodness. It feels like the longest week ever. Also, I lost two blog followers! Why do I care? I don't know. Hence the joys and lows of writing a blog.

But! It's nearly Christmas. And I have holiday decorations to show you, which makes me happy.

Let's start with what the apartment looked like when I gathered everything that needed to go up around the apartment.

Note on lower right: dog food not meant to be included in decoration.  Note TV, where Bones has been put on hold.

Among the collection you'll see votives, garlands, ornaments, my keys, a camel, Christmas tree-shaped candles (whenever did I get so cheezy), a table runner, and a half-baked centerpiece.

I've never been to the KMart in NYC at Penn Station, and I have to say its holiday section pretty much blew my mind. It was huge. I spend over an hour trying to decide what to get.  I was also wearing my winter coat the whole time, and got sweaty.  I picked up these pine branches and sparkly garlands.

This is about 1/7 of the amount of garlands that I bought. 30% off.  The checkout lady asked me if I was decorating Rockefeller. Why, should I?

As you can see, I wrapped the sparkly garlands around the pine branch garlands and strung 'em up wherever I could around the apartment.  I got the "merry christmas" banner from Etsy.  Then I strew shit all over one shelf because I didn't know what to do with it.  Incongruously, you'll also see a Halloween card, which is from my sister, which I save because I love her and the card.  Oh, there's also a smoke detector. Clearly I had a strong vision for the decor.

Close-up of banner

For some reason, I was OBSESSED with filling a vase with winter wonderland stuff.  The pine cones and fake cranberries were purchased from Pottery Barn.  I spent an inordinate amount of time deciding between hurricanes and vases, and even went so far as to make Kevin and one of our friends sit in Crate & Barrel for 30 minutes as I picked up various vases and just stared at them, trying to envision fillers.  You know why I did this? I saw stuff at Pottery Barn like this, and I'm extremely susceptible to suggestion. So I have this one random vase.

Another garland for the back door and a wreath from the farmers' market

I strung a couple of garlands across the length of one of our walls, secured by those removable 3M Command hooks, and punctuated them with ornaments from Crate and Barrel.

And, similar to the Lobsters, we bought our small (although the Lobsters' is much bigger) and overpriced tree from a street corner, carried it home, and decorated the crap out of it.

I bought this cute ornament in Kansas City:

And this one, which I put front and center:

My sister also bought one, and we said each year we'd both get one ornament that was the same and hang it on our trees.

I also picked up this little doodad--which stands in for an edible gingerbread house. I can't hang it on the tree because the house is a dense little sucker and would pull our mini-tree down:

The votive holders are also from Crate and Barrel--aren't they pretty? Yes they are, Mina, yes they are.

The table got decorated as well (this picture was taken before a dinner party, we don't usually have place settings just hangin' out on the table):

I also got this adorable luminary set from Etsy:

After all this running around and decorating, I was seriously sore, people. (As well as poorer.) It was pathetic.  It was the most exercise I had gotten in who knows how long.  But it was worth the effort.  The apartment feels festive and cozy, and makes me want to bathe in eggnog all the time.

Braised Red Cabbage--But Really, a Pug

This post was originally going to be about a braised red cabbage dish that I managed to massacre at every step, but I feel like I gave you all enough insight into my cooking foibles yesterday, so I will just go through the highlights of this culinary venture.

And absent any redeeming quality about this dish because of my tumbles and fumbles while making it, the highlights would be the pugs. No, not braised pugs (tho that has been suggested MANY A TIME by certain  someone in our household, I won't say who, but he's my husband), but rather the pugs' enjoyment of red cabbage.

The pugs are my ad hoc compost pile.  They love little scraps and bits that fall from my cutting board. Carrot peels, tomato chunks, butternut squash seeds, kale (though they just gnaw on it before spitting it out)...walking with them through the farmers' market has ceased to be an idyllic weekend morning experience because one day, after perhaps a year of going to the farmers' market (shows you how dumb they are), they discovered that there are fallen food particles to be scavenged from the ground. 

Since then, it has been a nightmare going to the market with them, because their stubby little snouts are plastered to the ground the entire time.  And then there was that one time when someone gently pointed out to me that Rikki was starting to root around in a box of cherry tomatoes that was under one of the tables.

But oh, the holy grail for these dogs is red cabbage.  How did they discover they like red cabbage? Why my parents, of course.  Because my parents are under the odd but fervent impression that they must, and I mean MUST, give the pugs a bite of every single thing that the humans eat.  And I guess at one point that included red cabbage. The pugs go bonkers for this stuff.

So here I am, chopping up the cabbage for the dish.

And I feel something at my feet.  I look down.

Um, excuse me little girl.

Are you enjoying yourself, you little thief?

Not one to be a cruel mommy, I saved a few choice bits for the pugs, thinking that I'd take a really cute picture for this blog over which people could coo, ooh and aah. 

This was the result.

There was some cabbage in my hand, I swear, but she pretty much swallowed it by the time I could point the camera at her. 

Her ferocity is quite evident. 

Pork Chops (Burnt), Carrots and Brussels Sprouts

If that doesn't sound like a square American meal, I don't know what is. Although no potatoes.

As simple as this meal sounds, I managed to mess it up anyway, by burning one side of the pork chops, and creating a permanent carbon fossil on one of my baking sheets. 

I'm usually not a big fan of cooked carrots (as in, on their own--I'll put them in other things, but I don't typically eat them on their own). Lifeless, limp, flavorless things. But I'm guessing that's because I've only had lifeless, limp, flavorless cooked carrots. Whilst at the farmers' market, I spotted some lovely-looking carrots and decided to give it a go. 

I had a hankering to make them super sweet, maybe a little tangy.  Most of the recipes that I searched for using the clever and totally non-generic phrase of "sweet carrots" in Epicurious turned up recipes using baby carrots, but you can do this with any carrots.

Adapted from Epicurious

• 1 1/2 pounds carrots
• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil plus additional for drizzling
• 1 teaspoon (packed) finely grated orange peel
• 1/3 cup fresh orange juice
• 2 TBS honey

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Peel, trim and slice carrots into about 1/3" to 1/2" inch coins (or if you're using baby carros, just leave 'em).

When I was trying to take pictures while making this dish, everything took on an orange tint. I felt like I was drowning in Gatorade.

Place the carrots on a rimmed baking sheet. Sprinkle lemon zest over them, along with olive oil, salt and pepper.

Naked orange alert!

Toss carrots to coat well with the seasonings.  Pour the orange juice over the carrots.

Cover tightly with foil.

Carefully place baking sheet in oven (remember there is a little liquid sloshing around in there).  Roast until crisp-tender--the original recipe says 10 minutes for baby carrots, but I was worried that would overcook my coins so I did about 7.

Raise temperature to 450 degrees.  Carefully remove foil and drizzle honey over carrots. 

  

Place back into oven, uncovered, for about 10 minutes, until some of the carrots are browned a little.  Or, in my case, try to wait until they brown, give up due to alarming amount of carbon buildup resulting from burnt orange juice and honey, and remove baking sheet in a hurry.

I took a really awful final picture which you'll see at the end of the post.  Regardless, these were delicious. Just enough sweet and just enough tang from the orange juice. Yum.

The carrots were the only component that really require me to tell you a "recipe".  So the other stuff I will breeze through. 

Now, my little brussels sprouts, I come to hack you, roast you and eat you.

Heat oven to 350 degrees.  Trim off ends and remove any sad-looking or gross leaves.  I halved them unless they were really small, in which case I left them whole.

Place on baking sheet (or two, depending on how many you have) without crowding, and toss with plenty of olive oil, salt and pepper.  Sprinkle about 1/3 cup water over the brussels sprouts (the idea is to let them cook a little gently first, and then when the water evaporates, they will brown on the outside).

Roast for about 7 minutes minutes, take a peek, toss, and roast some more until nice and brown, about another 7 minutes (the time will depend on the size of your brussels sprouts).

For da pork chops.  I had a hankering for meat, which we don't eat so much of at home anymore.  So I bought meat at the farmers' market.  Two for $17. Bargain. Right? No! Gah! In the words of Ina Garten, I forked over the money, telling myself it was a "special occasion" (don't ask me what the special occasion was, though, besides watching Glee). It reminded me why eating happy meat on a regular basis is not in the cards for us.  

Pat chops dry with paper towel.  Sprinkle one side with salt, pepper, and ground mustard.

Heat 2 tsp olive oil in large skillet.  When oil is really hot but not smoking, place in the pork chops, seasoned side down.  Season the other side, trying to avoid hot oil splatters attacking you.

Wander off and forget about the pork chops.

Come back and realize that you've let the pork chops "brown" a leeettle too long. Flip over.  (Ideally, you'd put the pork chops in, and leave them alone until they develop the color/crust you want, then flip--and I guess if you like your pork chops "heartily browned" on one side, you can do what I actually did).

Hehe. No, not funny. So sad. I think I see dollar signs wafting off in the smoke.

Lower heat big time and cook gently for a few minutes.  I generally like my pork a little pink the middle, but yeah with the whole first side fiasco I kinda overshot that.

Really bad picture. Clearly I already started eating and smeared my food around the plate before deciding to grace you with this photo.

Luckily the pork chop was not too dry.  It definitely would have sucked as leftovers (trust me it could not take any more cooking), but it was actually really good--not thanks to me but to the quality of the pork and the seasonings--so I ate the whole thing in one sitting. And yeah the veggies were good too, not that you can tell in these pictures.

Maybe this is also a post demonstrating the common experience of bloggers to start hot and heavy with pics, and then devolve into lameness.

ta-da.

Found It

Here's a story about a dumb and hungry pug.

Kevin bought me a little knit coin purse in the shape of a pug's head, that had a little blue pom-pom hanging from it.  For reasons that will become clear, I don't have the actual pom-pom to show you, but it was just a little one, like one of these:

Source

I excitedly showed the coin purse to the pugs by dangling it front of their faces.  They clearly thought it was a toy (I pretty much enabled that), a belief that Rikki demonstrated by promptly opening her gaping jaws like a mammoth grouper, raising herself up on her hind legs, and snapping her fat lips shut over the defenseless pom-pom.

Source

Luckily, since she's toothless, she didn't have such a good grip on the pom pom and I was able to pull it out of her mouth with ease.

And then I got a little absent-minded and forgot where I put the coin purse.  The next time I saw it, it was in Bunni's mouth as she was trotting around the apartment.  Apparently first impressions die hard.  I took it out of her mouth, and noticed it felt a little...crusty, like someone (somepug to be more exact) had been chewing on it all day.

I also noticed that there was no pom-pom. The pom-pom, string--it was all gone.

Of course I go into a mild panic thinking about intestinal blockage, x-rays, surgery and soaring vet bills.  Instead of rushing to the vet, I decided we'd keep a close watch on both pugs to make sure that they exhibited no signs of distress in their eating or pooping habits.  I thought perhaps that our housekeeper had maybe seen the pugs with the coin purse and removed the pom-pom herself.  Of course I could have called her and asked, but that would make too much sense.

Luckily, the pugs seemed fine and their digestive systems normally functioning.  They were pooping like champs for 5 days and counting. Phew.

Yesterday, Kevin took the dogs for their daily morning walk.  I managed to sleep through them returning from the walk, Kevin putting the dogs back in bed, Kevin getting ready for work, and leaving for work. I can be a heavy sleeper.

Anyway so Kevin calls me later and says "I found the pom-pom." Oh where oh where?  "Rikki pooped it out." 

So she had been hoarding it.  Little runt.

 

Just look at her (on the left), playing all innocent and unaware of her transgression.

Salt and Pepper Lobster

Due to a miscommunication with my mom regarding the Thanksgiving weekend grocery list, we ended up with about twice the amount of lobster that we needed.  The expense of this was emphasized to us several times by a certain someone.  I will let you guess who.

I don't usually cook lobster. And guess what--I didn't this time either.  I documented what my sister did.  Sure I helped here and there, like cleaning and dish and saying ooh and aah, but basically by the time poured myself a glass of wine, the dish was done.  Yes, my sister's pretty amazing. Rub it in, why don't you.

Adapted from this salt and pepper crab recipe

For lobster: 

• 4 lobster tails (thawed if frozen), halved lengthwise
• Can we pause on this for one moment. I had the one measly but crucial task of splitting the lobster tails, and couldn't even do it. That outer shell is one tough sucker.  The best thing to do is flip the tail so that it's laying on its "back", and plunge your knife through the softer "underbelly".  When you get your blade through the soft side and the meat, finish cutting through the tougher shell with kitchen shears. Or at least that's what I'm told. I made my dad do the rest of them after my initial frustration.  And they call me an adult. Why.
• Enough vegetable, canola or peanut oil to fill a deep fat fryer
• 3/4 cup flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 TBS salt
• 3 TBS ground white pepper
  

For dusting/topping:

• few tsp veggie oil 
• 1 TBS each of salt, ground white pepper, and sugar
• a few green chilis and/or scallions, sliced

Heat oil to 360 degrees (350 is the ideal temperature, but it's good to crank it up a little higher to start so that when you put the fryees in, the temp doesn't go too below 350). 

Hi lobster. Place the halved lobster tails on baking sheet lined with paper towels and dab all over with paper towels to remove excess moisture (this drying will allow the lobsters to form a better crust when you fry them).

Mix together the flour, baking powder, salt and ground white pepper in a large bowl or resealable plastic bag.  Dredge each lobster tail in the flour mixture, then remove and shake off excess.

Place a few tails in the fryer (don't overcrowd. do you hear me don't overcrowd).

Are you ready for your bath?

Frying away. Bubble bubble toil and trouble.

Remove when lobster tails are lightly golden brown and cooked through--this only took about 2 minutes.  Set on rack to drain.

Mix together the sugar, salt and white pepper for the "topping".  

Heat few tsp oil in large skillet over medium high heat. Place the lobster tails in and sprinkle with sugar mixture.  Flip/move around tails for about 3 minutes, making sure they're all nicely coated with the topping and until a healthy golden brown.

Remove tails to platter. Pretty.

Deep fry your chilis/scallions/what have you for a few seconds, drain, and sprinkle over lobster.

And that's how she did it. I think. I was just standing there.

Ta-da!

Freekeh with Kale

Kevin likes kale. I like kale. Kale makes me fart. But that's okay. I just don't eat it at work. And good morning to you all.

In addition to the great-lookin' kale at the farmers' market these days, remember good ol' (can't get enough of apostrophes today '''') freekeh? No? I'm insulted. Anyway, in that recipe I soaked the freekeh for a long time before cooking, but noticed that the freekeh started bursting and breaking down. No likey.  So I found some other recipes that had no soaking requirement, and decided to try my hand with that. It worked! No more having to plan ahead on soaking. Likey.

Anyway, so I made freekeh with kale--a very easy winter/fall dish.

Ingredients

• 2 TBS olive oil 
• 1 bunch kale (about 1 pound), stems removed and leaves torn into chunks
• 2 cloves garlic, peeled and smashed
• pinch of crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 cup low sodium chicken broth (or veggie broth)
• 1 TBS soy sauce (optional)
• 2 TBS butter
• 2 cups freekeh
• 1/4 tsp allspice (optional)
• 4 cups low sodium chicken broth (or veggie broth)

Serves about 4-6.

Deal with your kale.

I know, looks like a big head of broccoli. The stalks on this bunch were really short and curved, and I was too lazy to take another photo.  Anyway, as I mentioned, remove the stalks and tear the leaves into pieces.  I literally tear the leaves away from the stalk in chunks.

And oh my gosh I just realized that I captured my friend's midsection in the background.  Looks like she's eating something--one of the many unnecessary but delicious and completely appreciated goodies that she brings over.

In a large pot (big enough to hold all the kale), place the olive oil, garlic and red pepper flakes.  Turn on heat to medium, and cook until garlic turns just lightly golden brown.

Throw in half of the kale--it starts as a massive amount but cooks down a lot.  Toss to coat with oil and wait until it's wilted a little to add the remaining half, and do the same.  Sprinkle in salt and pepper.

Add the broth.

I also added about a TBS of soy sauce, but don't know if that actually did anything.

Lower heat, cover pot, and simmer until kale reaches desired consistency--at least 20 minutes (varies depending on the kale and your taste).  Once in a while, take a peek under the lid and add any water or broth if it looks too dry, and give it a stir.

As for the freekeh--melt 2 TBS butter in a medium saucepan.  Add the freekeh and mix around for about 3 minutes until lightly toasted.

And here's where I stopped taking pictures.  Add in the allspice, 4 cups broth, salt and pepper.  Bring to a boil, lower heat and simmer, covered, for about 30 minutes, or until freekeh is done to texture of your liking.  I think I ended up simmering the freekeh for about 45 minutes.  If it gets too dry during this process, add in more water/broth.

Remove freekeh with a slotted spoon (or drain) if there is a lot of liquid, and add freekeh to kale.  Mix well and serve.

I feel so nutritious.  

Ta-da!