Rings

I have some posts up on Weddingbee about my engagement ring, but there were some random thoughts/stories that are dribbling out of my mind.

Before Kevin and I got engaged, I had all sorts of ideas of how we would be "different" and not do the traditional woman-wears-engagement-ring thing.  I think this stemmed from my feeling that I was "older" (all of 31 or 32 or whatever), and thought I should be over the whole wedding thing. Ha! I was so wrong.

But anyway, I knew for a while that I didn't want to wear a diamond.  It's a little silly because I ended up with a gold ring and a sapphire, and who knows where it came from and what people might have gone through in order to get these materials, but I digress...

For a while, I also didn't like the idea of just me wearing an engagement ring.  Like I'm a marked possession or something--how come men don't wear engagement rings? So I thought maybe we should both wear rings, and then for the wedding get them engraved so they could be a smidgen different for the big day. 

Then I thought what would be simplest was if neither of us had rings. Then we could just exchange wedding bands when the time came.

So these thoughts are floating in my mind, and then Kevin and I had this totally random day which eventually led us down the more traditional route. So much for my bright, out-of-the-box ideas.

Kevin had a few weeks off in between jobs, and we took that opportunity to get Bunni.  It was hard for him having to watch her almost all the time (except for that one time he took a break, left her in her crate for too long, and she shredded, and I mean SHREDDED, the potty pad we had put in there. By the way, he "wanted to show me" what she had done so didn't clean it up, and waited for me to get home.  Guess who cleaned it.).  So when she went in for her spay, we treated ourselves to a nice lunch at Bouley.  

By the way this was before I had read about things going wrong with spay surgeries, I just thought it was so routine and not a big deal at all, which is why we were being frivolous parents and going to a fancy lunch.  In retrospect I'm kinda glad I was in the dark about the risks of spay surgery because I would have been freaking out. And not eating at Bouley. That would be sad.

ANYWAY (I keep getting off track), we had a few glasses of wine and were feeling full and tipsy, so we decided to walk part of the way home.  As we were strolling through Soho, we came across a little polished sliver of a jewelry store owned by David Lee Holland.  We decide to pop in, admire the jewelry, and I saw a piece that I really liked.  Somehow one thing led to another and we're talking about getting a ring and a sapphire and blah dee blah blah blah.

And no, we didn't look for a ring for Kevin, so it was just going to be me wearing a lovely engagement ring.

I've posted pics of my ring before on Weddingbee, but here goes as a reminder.

39 East Photography

Ananda Lima

I'm not sure if people realize that it's an engagement ring.  When my boss found out I was getting married, she said "Where's the ring?" I responded, "Um, here on my finger." Heehee.

A Bee's Life: Pug Edition

Sigh. 

[ahem]

Sigh.

Oh man I'm sad and I haven't even really started this post.


So hive, now that I'm at the end of my Weddingbee journey, maybe you'd like to hear how I got here and what I think of this whole operation? Oh you do? Please read on. Oh you don't? Meh.

How I found Weddingbee:

I was searching for NYC makeup artists long before it was necessary for me to even think of having a trial (like, summer of 2008 for my March 2010 wedding--before we, um, picked a California venue), and I came upon posts by Mrs. Peony and Mrs. Canary.  When I clicked to see the next posts, it was a post from another character. What the...? I was confused and slightly ticked off.

It took a few times circling back to Weddingbee to figure out the site, but once as I did, I was absolutely hooked. I distinctly remember becoming a consistent reader in October 2008, and like many of you, pored over every Bee and the archives to see what I had been missing!

Applying to Weddingbee:
After finding Weddingbee, I kind of thought--hey I can do that!  I had relied extremely heavily on Weddingbee for ideas and planning, and wanted to pay it forward by sharing my experience with other brides.  I know, my altruism astounds me as well. 

So I dutifully blogged every other day, met the 15-post minimum requirement for applying, and submitted my application. And was rejected. I was seriously bummed that my bribe to Mrs. Penguin didn't get me anywhere (you can return that box of bacon to me), but alas it was not meant to be.

I swore off Weddingbee for about 5 whole minutes and went straight back to reading and blogging.  The second time I applied, the bribe worked! Ha! The first shipment of bacon must have gotten lost in the mail.  But besides a bribe, what do I think it takes to be a Bee?

Blogging for the Bee:

Well, take my answer with the big hulking caveat that I was rejected the first time.  But in all seriousness (but only kind of)--let me mention "voice" and "frequency".  Also keep in mind that this is just my experience, and what do I know.

Voice
While thinking about how to improve my blog (oh yeah, it took me like 1 day to decide that I was going to apply again), I kept reading Bees mention developing your own "voice".  I wasn't quite sure (and still am not) what that is, but after being turned down, I took a critical look back at my blog.

In examining my past blog entries, I could see that I had tried to conform to what I thought would be a sweet, informative, happy voice that readers would like, but ended up being generically cheery and bland. I also chronicled every single detail, twist and turn of wedding planning, which I now realize was a bit confusing and probably didn't hold readers' interest. Basically, I could easily spot instances where I was trying too hard, not trying hard enough, or rambling--in other words, where I wasn't being myself or putting my best foot forward.

The biggest thing I did was pare down and hone my posts. I eliminated paragraphs, entire posts, dumb jokes (okay not all of them), boring details, etc. I added a ton of pictures.

My forte is not DIY/crafts, finding lots of photo inspiration, or even sharing tons of research.  Wow, I'm useless.  I was more comfortable blogging when I tried to write as I would speak to a group of friends, and make my wedding details actually sound interesting to them (except that this group of friends would be a captive audience that had to zip their lips).

Frequency

For me, posting 3-4 times per week was not easy. It's a serious commitment and takes planning. During the 3.5 months I had before my wedding, which is on the shorter end of the spectrum for Bees, I had about 100 posts go up on Weddingbee. 

But it's not just the number of posts (because admittedly 100 isn't terribly high)--it's the effort required for me to write the posts.  I have to think of an interesting topic, research, decide how to frame the post, find pictures and/or take them, and edit, edit, edit.

I edit a post at least a dozen times before I put it up, because I have nothing better to do with my life.  I build up a queue of at least 5 posts and edit them like crazy before making them live.  Other Bees can write on the fly and post them immediately--it's whatever works for each person. Point is, at least for me, it was a time-consuming albeit very rewarding experience.

On Being a Bee:

While I talked about the effort and time above, I am so glad to have blogged for Weddingbee.  It's been incredibly fulfilling, and I've enjoyed blogging for Weddingbee more than I can say. I love being part of this community.  You all are truly an amazing bunch, with ideas, support, humor, wisdom--the list is endless.

Nonetheless, I have blogged about as much as I can about my wedding, so I'm going to be, well, you know, whatever it is people do when they stop doing something without really saying goodbye because it sounds so final.

This is a great community, and I thank Penguin, Mrs. and Mr. Bee, BIL Bee, the hostesses, every other person behind the scenes, my fellow blogging Bees, and most of all you readers, who make Weddingbee what it is.

iiiissss thiiissss looooooonngggg eeeeennnnoooougggghhhh???

Haha gotcha! Totally not done yet.

As I mentioned, I try to have pictures in all my posts, so I leave you with these...

Whoa, excited much?

My babies

My honey

When "Thank You" Sounds Kinda Lame

Before I wrap up my posts here, I had to mention the efforts of my sister during wedding planning and the day of.  However, I don't know what I can say about my sister that would begin to describe what she means to me, and her instrumental role in planning my wedding.  

Perhaps you've heard me mention that she made the homemade goodies for our out-of-town bags, baked our wedding cake cookie towers, Gocco'd her heart out on my behalf, that she and her husband took charge of the wedding paper goods, hosted the brunch the morning after the wedding...

...and maybe I didn't mention that she:

• constantly encouraged and supported me
• kept me in check when I started to lose perspective
• opened her home for all wedding-related activities leading to the day of
• along with her husband, took in our two pugs for weeks while we were on our honeymoon
• baked challah, cinnamon rolls, jam and who knows what else for the wedding day breakfast
• made the lavender honey syrup for our cocktails
• cooked dinner for the "meeting of the families" 
• dropped off the out-of-town bags at the hotels
• bought a last-minute replacement card for me to give to Kevin the morning of the wedding
• ensured that everyone had a full glass of bubbly the second they entered the bridal suite
• took photos of every single guest during the welcome event
• helped me get into my dress (no easy task with all those buttons)
• performed leash juggling with the pugs while walking them down the aisle during the ceremony
• made fabric flowers for all five pugs
• had her husband miss part of the cocktail hour so he could return the dogs to the hotel room 
• carried around my emergency kit and kept track of my purse all night
• gave a wonderful, sweet and funny toast
• discreetly asked guests at the reception if they would like to give a toast (which thank goodness they did because boy I would have felt lame)
• and so much more that I can't mention because she's too selfless to let me know all that she did. 

But I definitely can't find the right words to describe how terribly important she is to me and that I, much less my wedding, could not function without her. 

  

3pugmama, I couldn't have done it without you.

Top two pictures are personal photos, bottom two pictures courtesy of CK Hwang/39 East Photography

True to My Name

My posts are coming to an end, but let's face it, there was no way I was going to let you get away without seeing a some of the sizable share that our pugs had in our wedding photos...

Sometimes I wonder if my dad wishes I had been born as a pug instead of a girl

She looks sleepy, but is actually pissed off that it took so long before someone turned the camera on her, where it belongs

Even the pugs' *toy* enjoyed the limelight

Who wouldn't smile while holding a pug?

Oh yeah, they look pleased

My heart is about to burst. Just burst.

Lest you think we're out of our minds, the three pugs on the left belong to my sister and her husband, and the two on the right belong to me and Kevin

When we were choosing a venue, it was essential that the venue accommodate our dogs--if not for the actual ceremony, at least for the lodging.  If a venue did not allow dogs, it was ruthlessly chopped off the list with no regrets.  It warms the cockles of my heart (and I didn't even know my heart had cockles) to look back at these photos and remember the joy and comfort the pugs brought to our wedding day.

This question has been asked many times, but what are you doing, if anything, to include your pets in the wedding?

All photos courtesy of CK Hwang/39 East Photography

Pug Vendors Part II

My vendors continued...

Photographer 

CK Hwang of 39 East Photography 

I actually found 39 East Photography mentioned on the Weddingbee boards.  CK is very talented and a pleasure to work with, both leading up to the wedding and on the day itself.  It is important to hire a photographer whose work you respect, but also someone whose personality meshes with your own in order to make you comfortable on your wedding day.  And CK was that person for us.

In terms of the quality of his work, you've seen the photos that I've posted.  While many photographers are on the photojournalistic side of the fence these days, CK is truly that guy.  His photos have a subtle, atmospheric quality to them that portrays the mood of the moment--they have a muted elegance to them that seems timeless to me.  There are many styles out there and you just have to find something that works for you.

I think CK excels at capturing sentimental moments, and beautiful bride and groom photographs such as the ones below. 

Flowers

Orna Maymon of Ornamento

As I previously mentioned, Orna did an amazing job with our flowers.  I did not do a vast amount of vendor research, partly due to planning from across the county, and I'm sure I could have found a less expensive florist, but Orna was so pleasant to work with, talented, and very familiar with our venue.  She was incredibly understanding of our budget and never ever made me feel judged--she did not blink an eye or say a word when I eliminated typical items such as all bouquets (including bride's bouquet), boutonnieres, escort card and cake table flowers.

DJ

Ceremony: In-house hotel A/V

Reception: iPod/my brother in law

We used an iPod for the reception music, with the hotel's A/V services for amplification and a microphone for toasts.  Even with a group of about 50 people, it was very helpful to have the speakers.  If it's in your budget, I recommend a speaker/microphone system even if you are going the iPod route.

One of our lucky stars blessed us with a brother in law who was the perfect emcee.  He was articulate, watched the timing of the reception so he could properly introduce the toasts, shoe game and cake cutting, and added just the right dose of humor to his words.  Furthermore, having a family member as the emcee helped contribute to the evening feeling so personal.

See, he's funny even when he doesn't have a microphone

Officiant

Friend

If you are thinking of having a friend/family member act as your officiant, I highly recommend it.  I should note that Kevin and I are not attached to any religious institution and therefore there wasn't any other officiant that was a natural choice.  For us, having our friend as the officiant it made the ceremony very personal and comfortable, and I was honored to have her standing with us at the ceremony. I wrote the ceremony because I did not want her to have the stress of coming up with her own text, but otherwise she took it away with flying colors.

Venue

The Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay

I've never stayed at a Ritz-Carlton and don't know if I will ever have the opportunity again (waaahhh...), but for our wedding, it was amazing.  We knew going in that we were paying a premium for this venue, but we heard from others who had stayed there that the level of service would be incomparable.  So what did the Ritz-Carlton have to offer?

1.  Awesome surroundings and facilities.  Our guests raved about the Ritz--the hotel itself and its grounds, which were, to say the least, gorgeous.

2.  Outstanding customer service.  The Ritz makes very clear that it considers service a top priority.  It was palpable that every single member of the staff worked to ensure that each guest was happy and that things ran smoothly, not only during the wedding but during the entire weekend.

3. A de facto day of coordinator--every couple who decides to get married at the Ritz is assigned an event coordinator.  For us, this was huge.  We worked with Lesli Mack--she was the one who told me that we did not need to hire a separate day of coordinator because the Ritz provides many of the services of a DOC and the size of our wedding (50 people) was manageable.  Lesli was very capable, and as a guest noted after the event, "had her shit together" the day of.

I mean look, I'm practically worshipping the woman

4.  Food. This ain't no standard throwaway hotel fare.  We had several seafood dishes on our menu, which for a large group can be hard to cook properly, but they were perfectly executed. Everyone raved about the food--delicious, beautifully presented, and ample but not slopped-on portions.  It was very important to us to have outstanding food at the wedding for a variety of reasons, and we were thrilled at how things turned out.

Cake

Kelly Zubal of Inticing Creations 

Having our wedding in Half Moon Bay, which is a bit removed from San Francisco and San Jose, limited the choices of bakers we could use because of the often outrageously high delivery fee.  Through yelp research, I found Inticing Creations, which I think is part of a collective of women-owned start up businesses with space in the Mission District of San Francisco.  

Kelly is very pleasant in person and makes one mean vanilla cake--I'm definitely a chocolate kind of girl, so it speaks volumes that we chose her yummy vanilla cake, which she makes with brown sugar (genius).  And her frostings are to die for--caramel toffee, cookies 'n' cream, etc. She didn't always promptly respond to emails, but it didn't bother me too much because our cake was a fairly straightforward affair and we didn't have a lot to discuss.

Guest photo of our yummy three tiers with white buttercream and sugar crystals

Which vendors are most important to you? Any other vendors that I'm missing? 

Photos courtesy of CK Hwang/39 East Photography unless otherwise noted

Pug Vendors Part I

Here's my big list 'o' vendors and details.

Bridal Attire and Appearance

Bridal Salon: Hannelore's, Alexandria, Virginia

Hannelore's has a wide selection of dresses and is a full-service bridal shop.  My sales consultant Sally was very pleasant and patient, although overall the store felt a tad impersonal to me.  Also, if you do buy your dress there and you do not have complicated alterations, I highly recommend going elsewhere for the alterations because Hannelore's alteration fees are fairly outrageous.  My dress was Marisa #775.  Would anybody like to buy? I'm selling it.

39 East Photography

Alterations: Ellen's Couture, New York City
Ellen's is just a few blocks from my apartment, so score on that front (and if it sounds familiar, it's because Miss Trail Mix used Ellen's as well!).  Ellen is a no-nonsense kind of woman but her service is still personal.  She made a halter strap for my dress, hemmed the dress, and added an inner layer (to prevent the skirt from getting caught in between my legs when I walked) for half the price of Hannelore's.

Accessories: Earrings from Macy's

Macy's is Macy's, not much to say about that.  The earrings I eventually found were genuine cubic zirconia. I know, you're impressed.

(phone was in there for scale)

Shoes for Ceremony: Tahari Rose peep-toe pumps from DSW

Simple and cute. I'm not a huge shoe person and these more than fit my admittedly low aesthetic bill.

39 East Photography

Shoes for Reception: 3-inch platform flip flops from My Diva's Closet

Super comfy.  Pug-approved.

39 East Photography

Hair and Makeup: Aimee Lam 

I love Aimee.  I knew Aimee was the person to do my hair and makeup when I went in for my very fun and fabulous trial.  She is sweet, professional, and very meticulous. She is quite popular, so book early if interested--I reserved her in August 2009 for my March 2010 wedding, and in August there was already someone else interested in hiring her as well.  I beat them! I totally beat them!!

I spent much more money on hair and makeup than I had planned, but after a very lackluster trial with someone who cost half as much, it was worth it to me to splurge. Aimee played a crucial part in making me look my best for the wedding day. 

CK Hwang/39 East Photography

I wore no veil or other jewelry besides our rings.  Speaking of rings...

Rings

David Lee Holland

DLH is a small boutique in NYC from where Kevin and I purchased our wedding bands as well as my engagement ring.  We loved the personal service and unique designs of DLH.  If you're on the email list, they have pretty good sales every once in a while--we purchased our wedding bands during a 50% sale.

Personal photo

Doesn't it look like Kevin's ring could swallow mine? Bully.
CK Hwang/39 East Photography

Any vendors that you've been loving and would like to share?  And while I'm thinking about it, what ring size is your significant other? What ring size are you? 

Look Ma! I'm Made Out of Clay

An apology is in order. Amends must be made.

For most of our wedding planning, Kevin and I only had one pug:

The chubber above made it into my blog posts, the main picture of our website, and even our engagement photos.  See following evidence:

Photo by Ananda Lima

Then, a few months before the wedding, we got a second pug, who essentially got the shaft in terms of having any spotlight:

 

Sure she's come up here and there on my posts, but after all it's Miss "Pug", not Miss "Pug and then oh the second pug that happens to come along."

Poor squirt, all neglected.  Well, I made it up to her.  It all started with a squeal, when I discovered polymer clay cake toppers on Etsy:

Cake Toppers Studio  

  

Lynn's Little Creations 

 

Nicole W Clark

So cute, right? I wavered back and forth whether to purchase a cake topper. Part of me said there's not much point and a waste of money.  The other part of me was like GET IT GET IT GET IT!

Then, when I realized that we could have both the chubber and squirt on the topper with us, it was game over.

  

Clayin Around 

   

Lynn's Little Creations 

I justified this purchase as being my wedding gift to Kevin, because getting a cake topper solely to make sure your second dog is included in the wedding is crazy talk, just crazy talk!!

I chose Lynn's Little Creations for my cake topper based on price and quality of work--I'm not saying it's totally cheap, but some of the other toppers cost above $150.  By the way, she books up a few months in advance, so plan ahead.

I sent her pictures of me and Kevin, my dress, hairstyle (from my hair/makeup trial), Kevin's suit, his shirt, and our two pugs.

And got this:

Squirt, you can't say mama doesn't love you.

Bonus: She gave me a bosom! How exciting.

Are you opting for a cake topper?

Last three photos courtesy of CK Hwang/39 East Photography

Army of Photographers

So you've hired a photographer. Very important.  But what about all those other pictures that guests have taken? What if they captured moments that the photographer did not? One, or even two professional photographers cannot be everywhere.  To try and collect all the photos from our hoarding guests, I used a shared online photo site like many other savvy brides.

I created a flickr account just for the wedding, and paid the $25 or so to upgrade the account so you can have unlimited space (this was after one of our guests uploaded high resolution files that took up a good portion of our memory).  I then sent out the following email to guests a few weeks after the wedding:

We are back from the honeymoon, all rested and wishing for about 5 more months of vacation.  We can dream, can't we?  Thank you all for your love and friendship during the wedding weekend and beyond, we had an incredibly wonderful time celebrating with all of you.

While hopefully we deluged you with enough drink and food to keep you well occupied during the wedding, if there are any pictures you took that you would be willing to share, we have created a flickr account for you to upload your photos.  To upload your photos:

1.  Go to flickr.com

2.  Sign in with the username: [  ]

3.  Password is: [  ]

4.  Click on the blue link on the right that says "Upload Photos & Videos".

5.  Follow directions to upload (your photos will already need to be on your computer's hard drive)

6. Ta-da!!

We know this takes a bit of effort and we truly appreciate any photos you would like to share.  Please keep in mind that the flickr account is one that can be accessed by all wedding guests, so try not to be embarrassing, okay? Actually, go ahead, what do we care.

Thank you again! 

I'm really glad we did this because while not everyone is going to take the time to upload their photos, I definitely love having at least some guest photos.  Here's a sampling:

Pic from the welcome event, where there was no hired photographer.

 

Look at me dragging that man to the altar.

Someone seems to be having a good time. Note almost-drained cocktail.


 A girl's gotta eat. Notice I'm not talking to anyone. I'm focused on the task at hand.

Somebody fully appreciating the talent and hard work of my sister

I'm so glad we did this, and might end up printing little notes with the flickr directions to include in our thank you cards (NO I HAVEN'T DONE THESE YET STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT) to gently remind anyone who needs to get off their lazy ass and upload their photos.

Are you planning on trying to corral guests' photos? What approach are you using?

All personal and guest photos