Drink Up, Buttercup

Different families have certain activities/traditions that they enjoy together, and my family likes...to drink together (moderately, of course)! Our motto is: The family that drinks together, stays together!*

I know, not very active or creative, but we really do enjoy a nice cocktail/bubbly/munchie hour before sitting down to a big homemade dinner (courtesy of my sister and her kitchen b#tch (me)).

Family time for us is filled with scenes like this:

(my brother in law, becoming a true member of the family)

 

The fam enjoying after-dinner port. Notice champagne and wine glasses strewn across table.  Guess I decided not to get gussied up for dinner, not even remotely. Mr. Pug has red-eye.

 

We even try to get the pugs in on the action (and Mr. Pug *still* has red-eye.  Maybe he's the devil.)

So in thinking about what should be our specialty cocktail for the wedding, I knew immediately what we were going to serve.

Bee's Knees!!

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This is my family's recent cocktail of choice.  What is a bee's knees? Well let me tell you. It is a delicious concoction made out of a lavender-honey syrup, gin, and limes. It's divine.  We served it at a party once and pitchers--PITCHERS, folks--were drained.

Plus, the lavender happens to go along with our color scheme, but honestly we could have been planning a neon pink and green wedding, and I would have still served this.

You can find the recipe here and plenty of other places on the internet, but here's the quick rundown:

• 1/4 cup hot water 
• 1 teaspoon dried lavender blossoms
• 1/4 cup honey
• 6 tablespoons gin
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice

Mix hot water and dried lavender blossoms in bowl. Let steep 5 minutes. Whisk in 1/4 cup honey. Strain into another bowl. Add 3 tablespoons of the honey syrup, gin, and lemon juice; strain into cocktail shaker with ice. Shake well and strain into 2 chilled Martini glasses.

Drink up! 

Are you having a specialty cocktail?  How did you choose which drink to serve?

*My family members are strictly social drinkers--this is not meant to encourage/condone/make light of alcoholism, which is something entirely different.  I am familiar with how alcoholism can hurt a family, and I would never imply that that kind of illness is funny.

What Cooking a Pug Taught Us

No, we didn't really cook a pug.  But what does this:

...have to do with our relationship? (that was about as far as I could get this terrified pug into a pot--oops)


I'm Korean American, Kevin is Ukrainian/Polish/Euromix Caucasian.  Whatever.  Point being that I'm a person of color (some people don't like that label, so insert whatever you please), and Kevin is not.  

Even in this day and age where one would hope that society is color-blind, that's wishful thinking--not that we haven't come a long way.  In addition--and this is obvious--there is something about having walked your whole life in *your* shoes that shapes your experiences partly because of how people treat you--overtly, subtly, consciously and unconsciously.  This contributes to who you are as a person, and no one can really understand that.


It's akin to the difference many people perceive regarding the gender divide.  While parts of our society have greatly advanced in breaking down gender barriers, any person will tell you that it's just different when you've walked around as a man/woman your whole life.


Anyway, where am I going with this.  Kevin and I had had the occasional race conversation here and there, but nothing too earth-shattering.  A few years ago, he unexpectedly learned a little of what walking in my shoes was like.




We were traveling on the subway to the airport for the Thanksgiving holiday.  I had my pug in a carrier on my lap, and she was poking her head out.  Kevin was sitting in a different part of the crowded subway car, across the aisle from me.

(okay, these are 2 pugs, and not on a subway, but imagine the one on the left being by herself in a carrier, on my lap, in the subway)

There were two men standing by the doors, closer to Kevin.  They looked at me and my pug and said something between themselves and chuckled.  I assumed they were amused, as many people are, by the sight of our pug.


When we got off the train, Kevin walked quickly to me to take my hand, with a look of concern on his face.  He said, "Honey, I think I know how you feel."  He explained that the two men, whose conversation Kevin could overhear, were saying something like:

Man #1:  Hey, look at that Asian lady with the dog.
Man #2:  Oh yeah, over there.
Man #1:  Uh oh, I hope that dog knows that it's going to be Thanksgiving dinner!
Man #2:  [Laughs]


I don't remember the exact words, but it was very clear to Kevin that they made the joke because I'm Asian, and the stereotype about Asian people eating dogs.  They snickered and laughed, while Kevin sat there, offended and hurt. By the way, not that this means one thing or another (it did to me), but the two men were police officers.



Those few lines really shook Kevin.  He felt he got a glimpse through a window at the stereotypes that some people make and direct my way. It helped him better understand my experience.


Granted, this doesn't mean that Kevin totally understands what it means to be a person of color, the same way I don't understand exactly what it means to be a White man.  Also granted, the subway exchange was a fairly overt act of racial/ethnic stereotyping, and not necessarily the nuanced treatment that occurs more frequently and can have a larger part in shaping who you are.



Nevertheless, in a way I'm glad it happened.  Anything that can help me and Kevin understand each other better is a good thing.


Any experience in your relationship allow you to walk in your partner's shoes and help you learn something?

Ring, Meet My DIY Skills

So, my ring was in search of a place to rest its heavy, spiky head at the end of the day.  I kept my I-must-purchase-something instinct in check, and instead of buying a ring bowl or other holder, I decided to make do with my bare hands (good job me!).

As a little background, while I've been DIY-ing the stationery for our wedding, I can't craft anything that is 3D. I can print stuff, but not craft. There's a distinction, okay?

But now, hive, I will flex my DIY muscle and show you truly how crafty I am. Prepare yourself.

*Disclaimer--before you get too excited, please also prepare yourself for the heavy dose of good-natured sarcasm ahead.

Steps for DIY ring holder:

1. Look around your home for something round.  Spot old-school Korean teacup (teamug?) on shelf.  Remove from shelf.

2. Take off top of teamug.  Look at insides for fun.

The perforated inner bowl is where you put the tea leaves, and the hot water goes into the main vessel. Put the perforate inner bowl in main vessel, and steep! Simple, no? And completely irrelevant to this post.

3. Take top...

4. Flip over...

5. Place ring inside. Ta-daaaaaa!!!! You're done.

I hope this tutorial was helpful to you. I now proudly place my ring holder on my kitchen counter, right near our front door, so I can take it off first thing when I get home.  Let me know if you have any questions! (hehe)

On a slightly serious note, though, I am actually quite pleased whenever I plonk my little Taz into this bowl.  I didn't make it myself, but *somebody* made it, right? And it's better than just leaving it on my kitchen counter, which I used to do, and which led to several panicked instances of not being able to find the ring among garlic bulbs, onions, and salt pot that grace my counter.  I think I am *so* clever.

Is this your kind of DIY, or are you blessed with a little more skill?

Resting Ring

As you know, my ring looks like this:

Spikey, no?

My pugs' eyes look like this:

All vulnerable and protruding googly eyes.

When I come home, if I've remembered to wear my ring, I like to take it off ASAP and put it somewhere secure so I can pet my dogs with abandon, and not worry about gouging out their eyes. (Will not go into detail about the time where I accidentally hit my dog's lower eyelid with the ring and she kept it shut for 2 days (was actually 2 minutes)--there was some serious panic and guilt, and Kevin restraining me from having a breakdown.)

What to use? Where to rest my ring? Well, I could use a ring pillow:

Weddingbeepro Llubav!  Yes, it would be random for me to have a Mexican-inspired image at my wedding so don't worry, I will not culturally appropriate it.  But still, it's super cool, isn't it.

Llubav again! I luv Llubav.

Totally cute for a wedding, but I'm not sure I would use it again as a more permanent storage option. 

A ring bowl?

The ever-popular Paloma's Nest

I love the creamy simplicity and the brief yet touching engravings.

Or, some creative ideas from the hive:

Is it a book? Is it a textbook? Is it a plane? 

No, it's a...

Ring book! (Photos ripped from Mrs. Sprinkle's post)

Or how about something that puts a little smile on your face? 

Reader kjpugs' cute little giraffe that she got from redenvelope

Or a ring box, made by Mrs. Gloss (something involving a laser cutter--whoa there stop right now!)

Can you believe she made these?

Well, not to be shown up by Mrs. Gloss, I decided that I would also forego the expense of purchasing a resting place for my ring and come up with something on my own.  Next time!

Where do you keep your rings when you're not wearing them?

Ring, Meet World

After the *overwhelming* number of requests (all 3 of 'em) to see more pictures of my ring, I've decided to post a little more about it.

Considering how I usually am, I thought I would spend eons researching what kind of engagement ring would suit me best. I imagined becoming lost in a vast new lexicon of settings, shapes, cuts, what have you.  However, without considering any ring very seriously, I ended up with this:

The ring getting a piggyback (or duckyback) ride from the infamous duck

Kevin and I picked out the ring together, in a little jewel of a shop in Soho that we found by accident.  They had cufflinks made of silver in this shape but without the stone, and a silver ring in this shape with a small sapphire in the center.

While I usually wear silver-toned jewelry, it looked a little too ice princess "Queen of Narnia" to me (although still very pretty), so I asked for it in the yellow gold to lend some more warmth. And for some reason I fixated on having a pink sapphire.  I do not know why. Moving on.

The ring and the pinecone (and Christmas ornaments and lots of other crap)

The ring hanging for its dear life on the Christmas tree

The ring and the pug, right before I had to snatch it out of the jaws of a suddenly, unexpectedly hungry pug

So there's my ring.  To be honest, I kinda felt like "the search" went by very quickly, almost haphazardly. Where were the unmentionable amounts of time perusing rings and the internet? In the end, it just clicked.

I was thinking of nicknaming the ring "Taz", as short for the Tasmanian devil, but the ring kinda looks hyper happy, you know?

Did you spend a long time selecting your ring or did it happen pretty quickly?

My Finances Are Reflected in My Face

I love skincare/beauty product posts.  Don't you? My turn!

While perusing bridal magazines long before I had met Kevin (embarrassing but true--whatever you did it too!!), I remember reading about prepping your face for the wedding by getting monthly facials for at least 6 months ahead of time (or something like that).

Now, back when I used to work at a corporate law firm in midtown making a fat-ass salary, I would have totally been all over that.  I even got excited, thinking of having a valid excuse for getting so many facials! Wheeee!!!

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By the time I got engaged, however, I had left the firm and started working for the government. Which let me tell you pays significantly less (that's an understatement).

What does this have to do with skincare? My rambling almost makes me forget.  Anyway, you could see the marked difference in my skincare regimen as my checking account balance dwindled.

When I Was a Rich Lawyer

This was my skincare regimen before:

Cleanser, toner and day moisturizer: Pola Vitax line, $139

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Pola is a Japanese brand, and the Vitax is a mild line of products good for those in their 20's and 30's.  Overall I felt that they kept my skin in good shape, but nothing earth-shattering.

Serum: Obagi, $88

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The Obagi-C RX serum is a splurge.  This product contains hydroquinone, which is usually available by prescription.  It's supposed to work wonders on any discoloration, like sun spots or acne scars, but it takes a few months to see the results. You can't use this when you're pregnant.  There's a night cream that goes along with it but it smells oh so lightly of urine.

Nighttime cream: L'Occitane, $60

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This is actually the cream mask, but a saleswoman told me that I could use it as a night cream, which makes it much cheaper than the cream that's packaged as night cream.  It smells totally yummy and a little goes a long way.  However, if you have sensitive skin it might be an issue because it irritated my mom and sister's skin.

Facials: Jurlique, $125 (or something like that)

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Actually, I only got facials about twice a year from Jurlique (they were gifts), but boy did I love them, and I wanted them everyday.  Even if my face fell off, I wanted those facials everyday.

Now That I'm an Underpaid Toiling Bureaucrat Lawyer

Cleanser: Cetaphil, $7.99

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The Cetaphil is gentle and effective, with a pleasant scent.  I've heard that it's recommended by many dermatologists.  Apparently the non-lathering quality doesn't strip your skin of essential moisture and oils (you need some, or your face overproduces oil).

Serum: L'Oreal Skin Genesis, $22.99

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To be honest, I'm not totally sold on the L'Oreal Skin Genesis Serum.  It's a little too light for me and I think there's some alcohol in it.  If anyone has some fav drugstore serum recommendations, let me know!

Day Moisturizer: Complex 15, $9.79

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Right before and during college, I used Complex 15 on my face and hands.  Someone once touched my hands and exclaimed how soft they were.  Why I ever strayed (probably because of the clinical, boring packaging), I don't know. This stuff is the bomb.  It feels a little thin, but it absorbs so quickly--not just dries quickly, but really absorbs.  After a few seconds you feel like your skin has just drunk a gallon of water.  It feels amazing. 

Sunscreen: Aveeno Positively Ageless, $9.99

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While SPF 70 is an unnecessarily high number, there wasn't a choice.  I like this product because it smells nice (only a slight sunscreen smell), although it doesn't absorb terribly well.  It kinda makes me "glow", as I see it (some may call it sweaty. tomAYtoes, tomAHtoes, people).

Night Cream: Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream, $13.49

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I use this on my body, and during the winter have also used it as a night cream for my face.  It is affordable (that's a big tub) and uber moisturizing without feeling too greasy.  

"Facial": Oil of Olay Regenerist Microdermabrasion kit, $24.29

 

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About once a week, I use the Oil of Olay Regenerist Microdermabrasion.  While not the cheapest drugstore product, it is definitely cheaper than getting a dermatologist do it for you (although yes, less effective).  This stuff smells uber yummy. 

My face is still here and alive, so I think I'm okay with the drugstore products.  I do miss those Jurlique facials, though!

Whether drugstore or indulgence, which are your favorite skincare products?

A Little Kitchen Porn

As I mentioned, my sister developed an immutable ambition to create the following for our wedding as favors:

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We're not sure yet whether the wedding cake cookie towers (WCCT) will work out, but even if they don't, she is trying a bunch of cookie recipes along the way, as well as testing their freezing power. If the WCCT don't work out, at least we will still have a cookie recipe to use for plain ol', non WCCT favors.

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Hi, y’all!  I am 3pugmama, the magnificent, the marvelous, the sister of the mostest Miss Pug!  She asked me to write a ‘guest post’ re: the Making Of The Favor Bag Cookies.  Since I am, well, DOING ALL OF THE WORK.

To begin.  LovelyPug (as I like to call her when I am feeling affectionate) told me of her vision of lime and lavender shortbread cookies.  Nothing too complicated, she said.  Just throw ‘em in a bag, tie a name and table# to them, and set ‘em out on a table, she said.  How wonderful! I said.  What a lovely complement to your overall wedding color scheme! Not to mention LovelyPug is, some would say unreasonably, obsessed with lavender.

Wait a minute, I said.  Where the hell are these cookies coming from?

"You’re going to make them!" PITAS said (Pain-In-The-Ass-Sister, as I like to call her when I am feeling annoyed).

And she commenced with the furious emailing of potential cookie recipes.  Out of the contenders, I narrowed it down to shortbread (this, this, and this) and sugar cookies.   I decided to find us the best recipe, which could then perhaps be used in the WCCT.  I also wanted to test how well the dough froze.

So one fine morning when I was feeling particularly energetic, I catalogued my pantry, and made a quick trip to the local Whole Paycheck for extra ingredients (must. use. fair. trade. must not contribute to grower enslavement).

For Xtreme lime flavor, I used lime zest, juice and extract.  For ultimate lavender flavor, I used organic lavender buds (from my garden! Picked and dried by yours truly and the PITAS) whizzed with sugar, as well as home-made lavender extract.

Since this was going to be purely for taste and longevity (the real cookies will be baked at a later date and then frozen for the event), it was a simple matter of rolling the dough into logs for the fridge.

For the real thing, we'll roll out the dough and use a round cookie cutter. For now, feast your eyes on raw cookie dough logs.

After a couple of days’ chill in the fridge, and on a morning when I was feeling particularly manic (read: being completely ignored by the husband), I sliced those babies up and baked them.

I was optimistically worried I would have a problem narrowing down the options.  STOOPID.  The first batch, um, MELTED.

The second batch tasted like flour and butter, which would be fine, except that I had wanted them to taste like LIME COOKIES.  Luckily, the lavender shortbread and both lime & lavender sugar cookies were a hit. With the husband.  And, well, the 3 pugs.

(Ignore the marred one in the middle -- I may have gotten a little too eager)

They’re all now safely tucked away in the freezer.  Waiting for the moment a month from now, when I will present them to PITAS and get the final verdict – which cookie will reign supreme?!